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Should I Stay of Should I Go?

I'm a SAHM of 4 kids. Been in a rocky marriage for the past 10 years. I've attended a few therapy sessions over the (he always refused, said I was the problem!). This past year has been hell so I though enough is enough. I've always had a problem with lack of courage, so I did therapy for two months. I gave my husband an ultimatum - he's changed completely!
The real twist here is that I've been having an affair with a divorced man (our daughters are classmates) for the past month. NEVER in a million years would I have imagined myself being in this situation... I am as conservative as they come, until He came along.
He is an awesome dad among many other things. Because of my situation, I'm the one texting him or calling when available. I just feel like I can't leave my husband now that he's trying hard to be good. But the truth is I'm not in love with him and feel like I'm just staying for the kids. What to do?

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 12:42 PM on Jul. 7, 2009 in Relationships

Answers (5)
  • Go back in therapy for yourself and work it out to tell husband new situation with counsellor in room. Don't be surprised if he says by.

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:47 PM on Jul. 7, 2009

  • You need to just get divorced. But i also think you don't need to be in another relationship.

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:53 PM on Jul. 7, 2009

  • i was in the same situation but i didnt sleep with the guy but he turned into my best friend and when i made the choice to leave my ex he was there for me my ex was the same way ur hubby is he was horriable to be with intill i was seriouse about leaving him and then he was like i'll change yadi ya but i knew form r history it wasnt going to work. personally i would leave ur dh if u dont love him any more u deserve to be happy dont stay in a loveless marriage b/c over time ur going to resent ur life and think about what u could of had with this other man. if hes that great then ur kids wont have that hard of a time adjusting to someone else being in theier life.

    Answer by rainmommy at 1:13 PM on Jul. 7, 2009

  • If you are not in love with your husband you need to leave but not for another man. Dont jump right into another relationship. This new man is divorced for a reason so you need to find out the " real him" before exposing your kids to him. It may be good to seperate from hubby for a while just to search your heart and see if your marriage can be saved.

    Answer by heavenlypeace at 1:37 PM on Jul. 7, 2009

  • Every relationship is great in the beginning. I'm sure the same was true for you and your husband when you first got together. I would try and work on my marriage if I were you. If you end up being able to work it out you're never going to look back and say you wish you weren't together. If you decide that you want to work it out immediately break off the affair and don't tell your husband about it. It will just make him feel terrible and ruin whatever you were trying to save. If you really feel like you absolutely can't work it out then leave, but not for this other person. I know this must be hard I hope you find and do what's right for you.

    Answer by mrsjonzy at 2:19 PM on Jul. 7, 2009

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