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my son is a dad now and his wife/girlfriend doesn't like me

She was a foster child and grew thinking her family didn't love her, my son was adopted by my ex mother in law, but I always made sure I was part of his life. Because I didn't want him to think I gave him up because I didn't love him, which is far from the truth. I love him still to this very day. Well, anyway his wife/girlfriend wants to make her issues his making my son believe that seeing that he was adopted I was never there for him, now he's starting to believe that. How do I make him come back to reality and stop living in his wife/girlfriends fantasy world?

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Asked by Oldcrone687 at 12:56 PM on Jul. 7, 2009 in Adult Children (18+)

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Answers (3)
  • Just keep communication open and offer to gather in public for short times for everyone's tempers to be seen in public and behaving. If you have pictures of you and him in childhood someday maybe he'll look at them. If you push it'll just make things worse. Sex is a big part of her and his relationship and obviously that is something not to be from you to him.

    My oldest is 25 yo and then 21 yo and 16 yo. I've been through similar things and found that reassurance to my son when times were hard of just I love you I love her were what got through.

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:07 PM on Jul. 7, 2009

  • good luck on that. my son wasn't adopted out but his psycho wife convinced him of something and he hasn't spoken to me in ten yrs and won't even tell me why. I hear she won't let him talk to other family members either but somehow he manages to stay in contact with others but not me. I reared him to think for himself so if he chooses to believe her then I have to accept that. As for you, at least you know what's up. Just keep proving her wrong and show him that you do care.

    Answer by admckenzie at 6:37 PM on Jul. 7, 2009

  • Maybe she feels like you are competition. You know that your son loves you and has loved you for a long time. Then this hussy comes along and takes your baby away and starts her own little family with him. She's the evil one jk.
    -Try to keep comments to yourself because most girls will use those to dig up dirt. Just kill her with kindness, she won't know what hit her. If you can't stand her, just keep the socialising to the holidays and make sure you invite everyone in the family so you can keep your distance.
    My sisters would tell me that I was adopted because I don't look allot like the other girls. I know that they are just messing around because I have seen the pictures of my mom holding he right after I was born.

    Answer by JenFunSniffer at 1:27 AM on Jul. 14, 2009

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