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No inlove with husband

I knew my hubby since I was 17 and he 19. During that time we had some really horrible moments and some good ones. However, during course of our marriage I start realizing I am not in love with him and if I had to do it all over again I would not be with him. He is not the man for me. I have an idea and know that type of man I want.

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Asked by EyestosoulMom at 2:07 PM on Jul. 7, 2009 in Relationships

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Answers (6)
  • hon im in the same boat im not in love with my husband infact i wish he would just cheat on me or leave me and no im not kidding or joking i really wish he would it would be alot easer

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:09 PM on Jul. 7, 2009

  • My husband and I have been having a lot of problems. He has been "abusing" our youngest child and I gave him his warning this morning. I told him that the next time I saw bruises on her I was going to have to choose between him and our 2 children. He didnt like the sound of that. My situation is slightly different than yours but at the same time, i wish he would just give up and end things. We are constantly fighting, most of the time because he starts it. I personally think he has someone else at work.

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:13 PM on Jul. 7, 2009

  • anon 213 - i wouldn't wait to see bruises again. If I had any IDEA that my husband was hurting my children, i'd be out the door now.
    I am sorry for your situations, I don't have an answer for you.

    Answer by missanc at 2:42 PM on Jul. 7, 2009

  • Yes, I understand where you are coming from. I have been married for 9 years the last 4 years have been the worst, with cheating and emotional abuse going on. I had zero help with the children and I was pretty much doing it on my own. I got to the point that I left in April for a little awhile I did go back for about 2 weeks, when I realized this is not what I wanted for myself or my children. He has changed to where he is now helping with the children and I now trust him to be around the children. However, I will not go back to the man I have filed for divorce and now it's a matter of getting the rest of the stuff together to move forward with the divorce. The bottom line that took me to finally said I was. Because for me divorce was never an option was I realize he only finally made these changes after I left and filed for divorce, he would have never done otherwise. I deserve better and I know and have found a lot better ma

    Answer by pandermom at 3:43 PM on Jul. 7, 2009

  • sorry it got long, but I was one to say I would never divorce, I would not mess around with another person awhile I am still married. But I am much happier now, then I have been in a long time. I do have my moments, but just remind yourself. YOU can and deserve better, and your children will be out of the house then what? Don't sell yourself short. It took a paper I wrote for college to make me realize that I can get out and will better myself all the way around for my children sake. Everything Happens for a reason.

    Answer by pandermom at 3:46 PM on Jul. 7, 2009

  • One of the great modern delusions is the idea that 'out there' is someone who is perfect for us, who will make us happy, who is 1/2 of our true selves just waiting to fix us and our whole lives. There is a lot of misery that has romance novels to blame.

    There is no perfect person out there for anyone, and the only person who has even half a chance of making you happy is you.

    If you find that you no longer love your husband, you can rest assured it's not because he's not the 'right' person, or because he's changed or even that you've changed. Nothing has changed except the thoughts you think of him. A long time ago you looked at him with something in mind that made you think the delightful feelings of aliveness were his fault, or anything at all to do with him. They weren't -- they were in your head then just as they are not in your head now.

    If you hold an attitude of love toward him, you feel love. If not, then not.

    Answer by LindaClement at 5:02 PM on Jul. 7, 2009

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