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Does your SO let you make parenting decisions if he knows nothing about kids?

My husband likes to pull parenting methods out of his ass then gets mad when I don't go along. I have a lot more experience with kids compared to his none.

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Asked by Anonymous at 2:08 PM on Jul. 7, 2009 in General Parenting

Answers (10)
  • LOL!!
    Maybe he just wants to feel more involved? Maybe your MIL is feeding him these "methods"? I dunno what to tell you, I dictate how I parent our son and while SO has a say in things and he does have authority, he pretty much follows the rules I set.

    Answer by motherofanaries at 2:19 PM on Jul. 7, 2009

  • Are these his kids too?

    Answer by gramsmom at 2:24 PM on Jul. 7, 2009

  • well use whatever works. If your methods work better then use yours. Or use a mixture of methods. I don't think i have any methods yet. lol. I just go with what makes my son happy.

    Answer by mommylovesu28 at 3:02 PM on Jul. 7, 2009

  • Did you know anything about kids the first time you started parenting?

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:20 PM on Jul. 7, 2009

  • My boyfriend doesn't have kids. He has ideas on how he thinks they should be raised, and they *mostly* line up with mine, so we don't argue much. On those rare occasions that we disagree, they are my kids, and he knows that regardless of what he thinks, that he needs to step back and let me do what I feel is best for my kids. We have discussed marriage, and the possibility of him adopting my kids if we do marry, but he's said that even then, b/c my kids have been raised my way for this long, that he will still defer to me, unless he feels that something I decide, say, or do will truly be potentially harmful to the kids, and he says that then he will step in.

    Answer by tropicalmama at 3:22 PM on Jul. 7, 2009

  • unite this is the only way to share authority talk about these things in advance

    Answer by littleleesmom at 3:24 PM on Jul. 7, 2009

  • So do I but I still respect him as my childrens father. I may not always agree or roll my eyes but he still has a say.

    Answer by Amaranth361 at 3:45 PM on Jul. 7, 2009

  • If they are his kids, he has a right to parent.

    Answer by mancosmomma at 3:58 PM on Jul. 7, 2009

  • Oh, let's not go all invoking 'rights'... 'rights', like 'labels' have nothing to do with intelligence, safety or sanity.

    Uniting with stupidity is stupid. Uniting with insanity is insane. Uniting with violence is abusive. There are no benefits to anyone, least of all your SO, to perpetuating the myth of the Common Front against your children, since it requires the stance Against the most vulnerable people in the house. Children do not thrive with opponents at home.

    If you have difficulty talking about the issues of your SOs issues, seek help in having the conversation... but first make sure that whoever you're talking to is into respectful parenting rather than Command & Control, Punish & Reward or other ineffective theories sprung forth by authors who are not actual parents.

    We used the SME rule: dh is a pro electrician so I don't argue about wiring, I am the Subject Matter Expert about kids, so no debates, k?

    Answer by LindaClement at 4:28 PM on Jul. 7, 2009

  • Didn't you discuss this before deciding to have children?

    Answer by rkoloms at 7:39 PM on Jul. 7, 2009

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