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well my son was totally flipping out at the doctors office.. which is what started all my questons today.. I told him you had better behave.. I expect better from you.. He went into a melt down.. he has boarderline aspergers.. syndrome..

and THEN One of the mommy's in the waiting room said.. Ya just talk to him.. Let him get away with behaving like a hooligan.. bet he will be on america's most wanted one day..


So I told her.. my son has special needs.. He will not be on america's most wanted.. And franky.. your ignorance and stupidity is the only problem I SEE IN HERE...


Asked by MAKEMYDAY101 at 3:41 PM on Jul. 7, 2009 in General Parenting

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Answers (10)
  • I applaud what you told that other mom. Too often, people (especially those who don't deal with special needs children) just think discipline is the way to handle everything. Bull puckey.

    There is a huge difference between a meltdown and a tantrum (anon:46) HUGE. You cannot treat a meltdown the same way you would a tantrum.

    The key is to figure out what triggers the meltdowns (and the triggers aren't always easy to discover), then figure out what way is the best way (not easiest, the best) to handle it and HELP THE CHILD GAIN CONTROL OF HIMSELF AGAIN.

    Yes, even special needs children need discipline. However, when they are in the middle of a full blown sensory meltdown, that is NOT THE TIME TO DISCIPLINE. They need help. These kids have to learn how to cope with things in a totally different way than a neurotypical kid! I have both, and I know what it's like to have to switch gears when dealing with them!

    Answer by TiccledBlue at 3:55 PM on Jul. 7, 2009

  • The irony is that if I said I hit him they would have pitched a fit for having "beat" a child..
    yet since I said I only spoke to my child I was not disciplining him...

    Some people want to complain no matter what a parent does...

    My son has gotten a spanking or 2... when he truely understood and was being outright rebellious.
    However it was not a setting today where I could or thought that was needed. And I would always rather err on the side of speaking to my child and trying to help them through their issues.. instead of just acting like a bully and mentally and emotionally or physically attacking them.

    but then again as a parent of a special needs kid.. I have gone through things you mothers of a normal child can NEVER UNDERSTAND.


    Answer by MAKEMYDAY101 at 5:47 PM on Jul. 7, 2009

  • Odd.

    I always tell my children to behave when they aren't. I will tell them that I expect more of them, and that this is not acceptable behavior. And my children are normal.

    I thought that was what everyone did. Regardless if the child is special needs or not.

    Answer by Cavalrybaby02 at 5:08 PM on Jul. 7, 2009

  • Well, the first two anons obviously don't have a special needs child. And they obviously have no reading comprehension skills either.

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:44 PM on Jul. 7, 2009

  • Yay for standing up for your own child!!

    Anyone who is delusional enough to think they can control another person when he is overwhelmed and out of control is clearly out of touch with reality. An example: that incredibly rude woman wasn't even in command of her own mouth -- do you think no one ever suggested she keep a civil tongue in her head?

    Oh, sure, I bet you a dollar that her 'answer' to a child having a meltdown is to hit it, or yell at it, or otherwise attempt to oppress the child's expression of distress. My, my, what a good idea: hitting an overwhelmed child.. yelling at a child who already has too many things to deal with to be able to cope. That's always worked.

    Women like her used to beat recalcitrant children to death, with the tacit approval of a society that felt obedience was more important than humanity. My grandmother had a sister who died... suddenly. Happily, those times are gone.

    Answer by LindaClement at 4:12 PM on Jul. 7, 2009

  • Discipline and punishment are two separate things. She didn't say she didn't discipline her child but from what the other mother said to her, I infer that she didn't beat the hell out of him, which probably upset the busybody mom.


    Answer by Anonymous at 4:03 PM on Jul. 7, 2009

  • Honestly, just because you talked to your son for his behavior does not mean that you do not discipline him. I am not sure why other people in this forum are giving you advice on how to discipline. I am sure you know perfectly well how to handle him, kids just have moments that you have no control over. Frankly, I agree with you. That lady in the office was way out of line and should have kept her opinion to herself. It amazes me how people have the audacity to insert their opinions when it was not asked for. Honestly, I wish I would have had the guts to say that most times I let people walk all over me. You did good!

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:02 PM on Jul. 7, 2009

  • You two anons...she never said she didn't discipline!

    You need to learn what you're talking about before you open your arrogant traps. Morons.

    Screw you and your uneducated minds.

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:56 PM on Jul. 7, 2009

  • I agree all kids need discipline. No matter what is wrong with them. There is no excuse for not disciplining a child.

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:51 PM on Jul. 7, 2009

  • Well even if your child has special needs you still need to discipline him whatever your method is. I've seen plenty of children with special needs and the parents will tell them "you want time out" and they quiet down quickly, or they give them these side pinches and boy do they calm down. Try a few different disciplines at home and see which works best. Just because your child has special needs doesn't mean he's still a child that throws fits, every child, special or not, will try to get away with tantrums you have to learn what discipline is best for them. And blowing up at other moms isn't going to fix things. You should be the bigger person and have said "he's my child and however I choose to discipline him and raise him is my business, please point your nose elsewhere" you didn't have to get angry.

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:46 PM on Jul. 7, 2009