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Why is it so hard to break the cycle of abuse?

I know that some women stay in these bad relationships and some leave right away. But for those that don't leave right away. Why is it so hard to leave and stay away?

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Asked by Anonymous at 3:55 PM on Jul. 7, 2009 in Relationships

Answers (6)
  • Because these women generally have low self esteem. There abuser has convinced them that there world would be over if they dare to leave him. Sometimes they believe there abuser will kill them or hurt there children.

    Imagine a beaten dog. They become submissive the minute there abuser walks into the room. Down on the ground, head down, tail between there legs and no eye contact..........that is the life of some abused women.

    Answer by mistynights234 at 4:02 PM on Jul. 7, 2009

  • Becasue most of these women do not have the self-esteem to leave to stay away. It may also be a learned behavior. These women could be living the lives that their mother's lived and the awful cycle just repeats itself. But never tell a woman who is in an abusive relationship that if it was you you would have walked away because know one knows what they would do unless they have been there.

    Answer by frenzied at 4:03 PM on Jul. 7, 2009

  • Aww, it's sad to see sometimes. Some women don't have clearly defined lines or boundaries of what sort of treatment they'll put up with. Some women also have a Dark Prince fantasy of being with a bad boy because she will take care of him and make somebody out of him.

    Answer by preggoandfat at 4:10 PM on Jul. 7, 2009

  • Having been in that cycle before I broke it here is why I stayed w my ex husband.

    I was raised w abuse. My father would call me a whore and a slut and beat me w a belt, gun rod, or choke us kids. My dad did the same to my mom. My mom told me I was a whore and that I was stupid and would never amount to anything. Violence and verbal abuse was all I knew.

    Met my ex husband at 15..He was nice at first but then started physically and mentally abusing me. He would tell me I was a slut and that I was stupid and smack me around. I figured that since it wasn't as bad as what my dad did to me or my mom that i could deal w it and that I deserved it since 3 people I loved couldn't be wrong about me.

    Then I tried to kill myself when my son was 4yrs old. I thought he would be better off without a stupid slut of a mother. I now know better and counseling helped me leave my ex and I now have an AMAZING. I finally broke the cycle

    Answer by worriedmommy600 at 5:16 PM on Jul. 7, 2009

  • I know better than to let anyones words have that much power over me and if they cant love me for who I am then they can kiss my butt! I have tried to help other women get out of the situations they are in, but like me, no one can help them but themselves and sometimes its either too late or they never see how beautiful they are and continue to let people tear them down. It is sad to see...especially since I had been there all my life (except past 2 years). I am 25yrs old and for the first time in my life I am happy. I never thought i would be...I am blessed

    Answer by worriedmommy600 at 5:20 PM on Jul. 7, 2009

  • many reasons including those mentioned above. Abusers are controllers. Normally they isolate the woman from friends and family so no one will help them (no support group), the abuser normally controls the money so it's hard to get started all over again with no money and kids to take care of. Many times the abuser drags the woman back physically or threatens to kill her or the children if she doesn't come back when she does get out. Many times the women stay too long and the children have learned what they lived so they hook up with an abuser too since it's familiar and "normal". That is why some states have the Failure to Protect Law that says if she doesn't get the kids out of that environment she can be arrested for making them live with abuse.

    Answer by admckenzie at 5:40 PM on Jul. 7, 2009

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