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Who needs a laugh

who needs a laugh?? Types of Sex

SOCIAL SECURITY SEX:
Two men were talking. “So, how’s your sex life?” “Oh, nothing special. I’m having Social Security sex.” “Social Security sex?” “Yeah, you know: I get a little each month, but not enough to live on!”

LOUD SEX:
A wife went in to see a therapist and said, “I’ve got a big problem, doctor. Every time we’re in bed and my husband climaxes, he lets out this ear splitting yell.” “My dear,” the shrink said, “that’s completely natural. I don’t see what the problem is.” “The problem is,” she complained, “It wakes me up!”

QUIET SEX:
Tired of a listless sex life, the man came right out and asked his wife during a recent lovemaking session, “How come you never tell me when you have an orgasm?” She glanced at him casually and replied, “You’re never home!”

cont...

 
aubrees_mommie

Asked by aubrees_mommie at 5:30 PM on Jul. 7, 2009 in Just for Fun

Level 2 (13 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (9)
  • Hall Sex: A couple that has been married many many decades has perfected the art of hall sex....the scream FU at each other while passing in the halls. ; )
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 6:32 PM on Jul. 7, 2009

  • CONFOUNDED SEX:
    A man was in a terrible accident, and his
    “manhood” was mangled and tornfro m his body. His doctor assured him that modern medicine could give him back his manhood, but that his insurance wouldn’t cover the surgery, since it was considered cosmetic. The doctor said the cost would be $3,500 for “small, $6,500 for “medium, $14,000 for “large.”
    The man was sure he would want a medium or large, but the doctor urged him to talk it over with his wife before he made any decision.

    The man called his wife on the phone and explained their options. The doctor came back into the room, and found the man looking dejected. “Well, what have the two of you decided?” asked the
    doctor. The man answered, “She’d rather remodel the kitchen”.

    aubrees_mommie

    Answer by aubrees_mommie at 5:31 PM on Jul. 7, 2009

  • WEDDING ANNIVERSARY SEX:
    A husband and his wife had a bitter quarrel on the day of their 40th wedding anniversary. The husband yells, “When you die, I’m getting you a headstone that reads:
    ‘Here Lies My Wife – Cold As Ever’.” Yeah,” she replies, “When you die, I’m getting you a headstone reads: ‘Here Lies My Husband – Stiff At Last.’”

    WOMEN’S HUMOR:
    My husband came home with a tube of K Y jelly and said, “This will make you happy tonight.” He was right. When he went out of the bedroom, I squirted it all over the doorknobs. He couldn’t get back in.

    A couple is lying in bed. The man says, “I am going to make you the happiest woman in the world.” The woman says….. “I’ll miss you
    aubrees_mommie

    Answer by aubrees_mommie at 5:31 PM on Jul. 7, 2009

  • HAHAHA THOSE ARE GREAT!
    Shelii

    Answer by Shelii at 5:33 PM on Jul. 7, 2009

  • LOL those were so funny!! Thanks for the Laugh.
    neveragain17

    Answer by neveragain17 at 5:36 PM on Jul. 7, 2009

  • Hee hee! Thanks for the giggle~!
    heathermarie32

    Answer by heathermarie32 at 5:38 PM on Jul. 7, 2009

  • LOVED THOSE! Read them to DH and he laughed too.
    MommyLee08

    Answer by MommyLee08 at 5:41 PM on Jul. 7, 2009

  • ROFLMAO
    kustomkrochet

    Answer by kustomkrochet at 6:17 PM on Jul. 7, 2009

  • I love those !!!! I cant wait for my husband to get home so I can read them to him !
    ryansmommy07

    Answer by ryansmommy07 at 6:20 PM on Jul. 7, 2009

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