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Should I send my friend an email of my honest feelings about troubles in our friendship, 4 days before her wedding?

I wrote her an email b/c we have been having some problems, 3 weeks ago she says she doesn't think I should be in her wedding anymore. I told I wanted to but it's her wedding. I haven't really talked to her since then so I'm pretty sure I'm not. But things she brought up during our talk 3 weeks ago bothered me, like why she isn't talking to some of the other girls who tell her they don't trust her, throw some personnal things in her face, and lie to her about their kids having ecoli. I feel like the reason I got the talk is b/c I don't call her as much as they do ( I was mad she blew off my b-day & didn't call when my DH's grandmother was dying, in the same week) But do I send it? I do tell her it's not to attack or guilt her to let me back, just to be honest & that I'm sorry for my part as to why or friendship turned out this way. I don't want to ruin the upcoming wedding & kinda scared to get a big "F" you

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 6:36 PM on Jul. 7, 2009 in Relationships

Answers (17)
  • No way! 3 days before the wedding and you will not get an intelligent reply, she is in a wedding induced tizzy! Its a bummer she hurt your feelings. But hey, the ball is in your once the wedding is over! You can decide then if you forgive her for being a bridezilla!
    teampalmer4

    Answer by teampalmer4 at 6:38 PM on Jul. 7, 2009

  • no. There is a time and place and 4 days before her wedding is not the time. Wait until after the honeymoon and things settle down then get with her IN PERSON and discuss things quietly.
    admckenzie

    Answer by admckenzie at 6:39 PM on Jul. 7, 2009

  • Wait until after the wedding.
    gramsmom

    Answer by gramsmom at 6:39 PM on Jul. 7, 2009

  • I understand why you feel the way you feel, but right now is not the time. It would probably just cause more tension. Just try and hold off until the wedding, that way you can show her that even though it's stressing you out you really are a friend and consider what's going on in her life too.
    ajguinn

    Answer by ajguinn at 6:39 PM on Jul. 7, 2009

  • I would not send an email 4 days before the wedding. If you feel strongly about trying to save the friendship wait some time after the wedding and invite her to lunch. If she was a 'bridezilla" she may be more recpetive. My cousin is normally the sweetest person you'll ever meet...but OMG during the pre wedding planning she was the bridezilla from hell. Some people just don't respond to stress well. However, if you aren't interested in salvaging the friendship..I would just let it go and die a quiet death at this point. If in fact there are other girls she should have been talking to and only spoke with you...that kind of tells you what sort of 'friend'" she is.
    GrnEyedGrandma

    Answer by GrnEyedGrandma at 6:42 PM on Jul. 7, 2009

  • No...she is under a huge amount of stress right now and granted she hurt your feelings, but if you were ever any kind of friend you will wait until after the wedding. It is about her NOT you.
    Nathskitten

    Answer by Nathskitten at 6:42 PM on Jul. 7, 2009

  • The ONLY thing you need to ask right now is whether you are still expected in the wedding party. Save everything else for after...and tell her that's what you're doing should she ask.
    gdiamante

    Answer by gdiamante at 6:43 PM on Jul. 7, 2009

  • I wrote the email because I am one of those people that is better at putting what I feel in writing rather than saying it, I always have been. Also, the way it got started was to ask her if she even wanted us to come to the wedding. We didn't go to her 2 year old's birthday party and I got a snotty text message about it and then I haven't heard from her.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 6:44 PM on Jul. 7, 2009

  • I would just appologize, make up and ask her if u are in the wedding still and if not then ask her if u can still come 2 the wedding! Leave all the other feelings out, I am sure she is only acting that way because of all the stress. After the wedding get together and work everything else out!
    mrsmamaj

    Answer by mrsmamaj at 6:47 PM on Jul. 7, 2009

  • What I have learned about weddings is that the bride is NUTS beforehand. Expecting her to be rational right now is not a good idea. I agree that you should just simply ask her if you are to be in the wedding party. Everything else can wait. I think more friendships are ruined over weddings than anything else!! LOL
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 7:02 PM on Jul. 7, 2009

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