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Am i a bad mother

i meet my husband when i was 15 i had our daughter when i was 18 and i am now 22.

i feel completly over done, i never had parents really they were addicted to heavy drugs. jay(husband) is all i have ever known as family and love he has alway taken care of me. he is now an alcoholic how is seeking help and i have be trying to take care of my daughter and him for sometime now. I think i have lost that magic touch that drive that keeps you going. I dont want to wake up and make breakfast lunch dinner clean play and work at night. although i still do i hate it every bit even playing with my daughter, i just want to be by my self and when i get the chance all i can think of is how i must be the worst mother in the world to not enjoy the time i have with my family. i wonder if bcause of the way my parents were that i just dont have it in me to be a good mother. i feel so bad for my girl and just wish i could give her more.

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 10:47 PM on Jul. 7, 2009 in General Parenting

Answers (8)
  • You are not a bad mother, you just have a lot on your plate. Just hang in there and be thier for your husband...he is going to need you more than ever and just keep loving that little girl. Hang in there mama.

    Answer by vickwu at 10:50 PM on Jul. 7, 2009

  • Your not a bad mother at all, I think you are just going through some hard times and are alittle depressed... why dont you try going to talk to someone and work through things... im sure youll be back to your regular self soon!! Wish you well!!


    Answer by Kagenj07 at 10:57 PM on Jul. 7, 2009

  • You are going through a rough time right now, and maybe you should see a doctor to see if you have depression. BUT, you are still going to work and feeding her, playing, and loving her. You are NOT your parents. It's usually the good mothers that worry they aren't a good mother.
    I'll pray for you and I hope things get better!

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:57 PM on Jul. 7, 2009

  • NO! You are not a bad mother! Part of being a great mom is holding it together when things are hard. It does sound like you might have some depression going on though and that is not your fault. Is it possible for you to see a doctor about this?

    It sounds like you are doing a great job in the face of a really tough situation. Hang in there, things will get better for you!

    Answer by beckcorc at 11:09 PM on Jul. 7, 2009

  • You are an amazing mother because you keep going. I am going through something similar and the only thing keeping me going is my DD. Try and think of her as a friend and let her be your strength for a little while. My DD truly is the one thing that keeps me happy

    Leave all the stuff that can be done later until tomorrow and just cope with today. Sometimes you have to go on auto pilot.

    Parenting is a learned and developed skill. It is not hereditary. You can learn to be better than them! And sounds very much like you are.

    All the love in the world to you and prayers

    Answer by mummylovebaby at 11:41 PM on Jul. 7, 2009

  • You are not a bad mother. A bad mother wouldn't even worry about these things. You sound overwhelmed and maybe depressed. It is hard work doing the same thing day in and out and keeping it together for a spouse and child/ren. Speak to your doctor. A light prescription may help to take the edge off of everything. Many mothers would love just a little time alone with no one and no responsibilities. When my kids were little it was called a shower.

    And truth be told, even if you were on your own, you would still have to get up, eat, work, etc…
    I hope you feel better soon!

    Answer by balagan_imma at 11:43 PM on Jul. 7, 2009

  • Your not a bad mother. doesn't mean if you've had a really bad past doesn't mean that your a bad mother.

    hang in there and be strong and you'll pull through

    Answer by Anonymous at 5:23 AM on Jul. 8, 2009

  • No you're not a bad mother. I am saddened by your situation. You have dealt with a lot for a long time, and all those people in your life are very selfish ones. (Addicts are) I hope your husband stays clean and can take care of you for a change. I know how it feels to always be on the giving end and never be the one who receives, but keep driving on for your daughter. It sucks, but you don't have a choice and you can't dwell on the past and feel bad for yourself. You choose to stay with your husband who is an alcoholic and you choose to help him. That's the life you pick. It is not going to be easy. Take a deep breath, and try to do something good for YOU. Take a class, get a nice hair-do, anything to lift your spirits, and refresh. My heart goes out to you, if you need to talk you can PM me. I know a lot about being in your situation.

    Answer by Seven07 at 7:34 AM on Jul. 8, 2009

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