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How do I mend the relationship I had with my stepchildren?

We had such a beautiful relationship; the children and I loved each other so, so very much! Not to be surprised, this made the mother outrageous. She would call the kids daily, crying when they would tell her about the fun we had that day with me. It got to the point where the kids felt awful when they had a good time with me.

Our relationship was ruined, and then I began to react to their mother's bazaar behaviors. I couldn’t tolerate her antics anymore; I was fed up so fed up!

Both children are now teens and are rebelling badly towards me, along with ignoring their fathers phone calls, they have not seen each other in over a year of course this is being fueled by their mother.

My husband feels there is nothing he can do with out causing further damage to the children or to me. And of course everyone blames me for everything that has happened. I guess I should have never defended myself or my husband.

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Asked by Piattio at 4:10 PM on Jun. 18, 2008 in Teens (13-17)

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Answers (4)
  • That situation just sucks. I know so many in the same boat. I don't think there is much one can do to make them return calls..they are teens they only care for themselves. But if your hubby is paying child support he may be able to enforce visitations even at that age. I know a lady who went to jail for not "making" her 14 year old go to her dads. Good luck.

    Answer by Mimomof3boys at 4:28 PM on Jun. 18, 2008

  • Have you tried writing the children or emailing them?

    Answer by Mimomof3boys at 4:28 PM on Jun. 18, 2008

  • I think the best thing I have ever done as a step parent is to stay out of issues between my husband, my step son and my husbands ex. I have never once spoken to my step sons mom about issues regarding my step son. It is not my place. I have also never said anything bad about his mom to my step son. Too many people get caught up in the drama and the fighting. I refuse to put myself into those situations. I have a wonderful relationship with my step son because I always stay neutral.

    Answer by AKEllen at 3:23 AM on Jun. 19, 2008

  • I agree with AKEllen
    I have three step children. Two youngest are teenagers and the oldest is 20. I get along with the boys but the step daughter has NEVER liked me. She is kind of child I would have never had anything to do with, when I was a child nor as an Adult. But of course I am an Adult and have to be nice and mature. I do not get involved in the issues my husband and his kids have with their mother. It is not any of my business. The situations have been very nasty at times, but do not involve me so I stay out of it.

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:52 PM on Aug. 28, 2008

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