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my best friend is making a HUGE mistake!

last weekend my best friend had a party at her house. her boyfriend got a little too drunk and started yelling at her, poured his beer on her and broke her bedroom window. like every other time he's done things like this, she took him back. and now she plans on moving in with him! i've told her several times shes making a big mistake but she won't listen to anyone! she's been with him for 3 years so it's understandable that it's hard to just break up with him and get over it. but ive tried exaplaining to her that i went through the same exact thing and i told her how i got over it but nothing works! her mind is set! and i don't know what to do anymore. how can i get her to change her mind?

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 12:51 AM on Jul. 8, 2009 in Relationships

Answers (5)
  • You can't, plain and simple. She has to figure it out herself.
    The only thing you can do is tell her that you think it is a mistake, and that you love her and are willing to help her - without any I told you so's when she figures it out and needs to leave him.
    Nathskitten

    Answer by Nathskitten at 12:55 AM on Jul. 8, 2009

  • Exactly what Nathskitten wrote
    queenamy

    Answer by queenamy at 1:16 AM on Jul. 8, 2009

  • I am going through the SAME thing with my friend. Only her husband has gone from yelling and pushing, to breaking her nose, then slamming her on the floor and choking her. She just went back to him yesterday. I warned her that he might kill her next time... but she says "He's a good guy when he isn't drinking... I still love him".
    There really isn't anything you can say to her. Just be there for her when she's ready to get out.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:57 AM on Jul. 8, 2009

  • I can only say pray for her, for her to have her eyes open.. she cant see what you are telling her. I told a friend long time ago, to not be with this guy, cause she would get hurt, etc, well she didnot listen, and she ended up hurt, etc,, So i say pray for her, to come to understand what you are saying, and her eyes to be open to see what you are saying, for her to realize you are right.. Or for her to suggest to him to get help before she moves in, or first get marriage counseling, etc
    ahortiz5

    Answer by ahortiz5 at 2:59 AM on Jul. 8, 2009

  • If she has kids, get CPS involved. Maybe that will scare her into seeing him as the abuser he is. You can't help her, but be there when she asks.
    Teachermom01

    Answer by Teachermom01 at 7:55 AM on Jul. 8, 2009

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