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What to do when a friend hurts you?

The old saying goes, if a friend hurts you, they aren't really your friend. I believe it. But I've never actually had to put it into practice until today. I have 2 close "inner circle"..the only 2 people, other than my husband that know close to everything about me. I've been there for them through thick and thin. Today, one of those two told me she needs some distance from me, because I'm getting too involved in a serious problem in my other close friend's life. Excuse me?!?
I would love to just be able to say "Fine, shove it up your a** then!" but I can't. I've been there for her through a lot... and almost considered her like family. I'm so mad at her right now I can't think straight.
What would you do?

Answer Question

Asked by brandyj at 1:54 AM on Jul. 8, 2009 in Relationships

Level 21 (10,228 Credits)
Answers (4)
  • Give her space. Don't press it. She has her reasons.

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:25 AM on Jul. 8, 2009

  • That doesn't help much... it's exactly what SHE said.

    Answer by brandyj at 2:30 AM on Jul. 8, 2009

  • She might just be jealous that you are helping your other friend and that friend is not leaning on her. Idk I mean if you have close friends like that than you guys will always have your differences and need your own space just like siblings, but don't get so mad that you don't have anything to do with her anymore because friends that close are hard to come by. I might be a little hurt but I would ask her what is going on and why she needs that kind of space due to you 2 are really close friends ( like sisters). Maby you did something to upset her and I would want to know what I did because you don't want to lose that type of friendship. Good luck


    Answer by Anonymous at 2:58 AM on Jul. 8, 2009

  • From the limited information you gave, could it be the friend that told you she needs some "space" is feeling threatened by the other friend's problem somehow? Like maybe it's a core-value she has and feels it is being challenged by you through helping this other friend and she is wondering if you are changing too much for her comfort?

    The only thing I can think of that would make me dump a long-time close friend would be if they changed their religion and got strange, went on drugs, started doing dangerous things, cheated on their husband....

    I'm sorry you're hurting. I've had friends give me lame excuses for never talking with me again. You deserve the whole truth as to why she needs time away from you.

    Sometimes a letter exchange will open up communication like talking on the phone or in person can't. I wish I had more help to give you.

    Good luck, and I hope your other friend's trouble resolves itself quickly.

    Answer by timelessglass at 10:59 PM on Jul. 10, 2009

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