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Is there another woman?

I live in Miami, Me and my Babys Father are temporaly not living together anymore over financial problems, so today I asked him if I can go visit him in New York for the weekend and stay at the Hotel next to his mothers house sense supposely I can't stay at his mothers place and he kept telling me "No". His first excuse was that I have no where to stay, so I finally came up with money and he STILL didn't want me to go visit. But, One time when he left to his mothers house before he kept calling me and begging me to go stay at his mothers house and meet her and now its a whole a different story. My instict tells me he has another woman, so I changed my number today so he wouldn't call me or text me anymore. What do you guys think?

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Asked by Anonymous at 4:26 AM on Jul. 8, 2009 in Relationships

Answers (8)
  • WOW..First, I need to know your 'marital' status. So far, sounds like there is a reason why he does not want you to be there, BUT, and I repeat, BUT, get your facts straight before you accuse him of anything although 'the GUT INSTINCT" is the best indicator, but you must follow up on your gut. It may take time (It took years with me). There are too many 'unknowns' in your question to give an exact answer. Give me more details. Right now, BE THERE for your baby(s). You, yourself are beautful. You have been given the gift of being a mother whether dad is there or not.Do the best you can with what you have at the moment. Work with what you get, as you get it. Good luck. I will be glad to answer any other questions you have and continue to work on this particular one. I have been through quite a bit myself. Smile honey.

    Answer by rapunzel1 at 5:56 AM on Jul. 8, 2009

  • rapunzel1 Well 2 days after I found out I was pregnant I went to jail and they kept me there for almost 3 months. All my money went to my lawyers so I didn't have anything to pay the rent, so my Mother-In-Law payed our rent the 1st month, the 2nd month we had to sell our jewelry to pay the rent, and by the time I got out of jail it was already almost the end of the 3rd month. His car wash job wasn't paying enough, and my job was as an exotic dancer and I didn't want to go back to the lifestyle, so my Babys Father left me and went to New York to live with his mom, and I'm staying with my Mom in Miami. He calls and texts everyday and says he just wants to make money for his baby, but when I got out of jail I found 2 girls on his phone which I spoke to and they both told me he denied having a girl and baby. But I really miss him so I told him I wanted to Visit him, and thats why I posted this

    Answer by Anonymous at 7:34 AM on Jul. 8, 2009

  • He claimed that the whole reason why I couldn't visit him in New York was because his mom supposely didnt want me around, but before he left I spoke to his mom and she was so happy about the baby. So I was desperate and I went to work and then called him the next day and told I had money for a hotel for the weekend to visit, and he's like "No,No,No". Like if he was scared of hidding something. He's cheated before in the past, so I'm really frustrated. So it was never about the money or his mom, its about HIM.

    Answer by Anonymous at 7:39 AM on Jul. 8, 2009

  • yeah theres another woman


    Answer by katsogrimey at 8:01 AM on Jul. 8, 2009

  • I'd go with your gut. If you think there's another woman, there probably is. BUT, I don't think changing your number and completely avoiding him is the way to go, either. I can't tell you that you should try to work things out with him or that you should leave him, but you have a child with him. You will need to have some contact with him for the next 18 yrs at least, for visitations, child support issues, and just random things that come up with kids. If you don't feel like you can discuss the possible other woman with him right now, then don't. Tell him you're upset and you'd rather not talk to him right now. Deal with him only regarding the child. Eventually, though, you need to address the situation, and resolve it one way or the other. I wish you the best of luck, and I hope it all works out, one way or another.

    Answer by tropicalmama at 8:11 AM on Jul. 8, 2009

  • tropicalmama Thanks for your reply. I know he's the father of my child but It hurts too much and I can't take the stress he is putting me through so I feel better if I loose all contact with him. I have asked many times and tried to discuss "the other woman" but he keeps denying it over and over. I told him I don't mind knowing the truth and to just be sincere with me but he still denies it. He thinks he can have his cake and eat it too.

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:27 AM on Jul. 8, 2009

  • Hey girl. Thanks for the extra info. You made a very good point earlier about changing your lifestyle to better yourself and the life of your baby. You CAN do this. The best advice that I ever heard (didnt think so at the time, I was frazzled and contemplating divorce) was DON'T BE AFRAID TO BE ALONE. It may be hard at first but it may be best. You must do the legal bs like get child support, etc but you CAN believe in yourself, stand tall and break the chain of abuse. I am going through a similar situation right now. It is SO hard, BUT, I have a 14 year old daughter and 10 year old son. If there's anything I can leave them with it is to believe in yourself, BE HAPPY and NEVER EVER EVER ALLOW yourself to accept abuse of any kind from any one. You have already made the first move by believing in yourself. Keep going. Keep me posted. You CAN do this.

    Answer by rapunzel1 at 1:27 PM on Jul. 8, 2009

  • Why don't you drive up there and see for yourself without telling him? Then just drive back home when you find out for sure, don't speak to him or anything. Don't even let him know you're there.

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:45 AM on Jul. 9, 2009

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