Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

What is the age difference between your kids? And what are the pros and cons?

My boyfriend and I would like to have another baby. Our daughter is 20 months old. We would like our kids to be close in age. 2 1/2 - 3 years apart. But we worry about our daughter. We feel guilty about wanting another baby because we are so close with her. How would she react to a little brother or sister? and also, How would they react to eachother? Would it be easier in the short or long run to have children that close in age?

Whatever the age difference between your kids, please tell me the pros and cons with them. and your feelings when you were thinking about / expecting/ and have your 2nd child.
Even if your answer is similar to another please respond.

Thank You

Answer Question
 
BelloItaliano

Asked by BelloItaliano at 8:15 AM on Jul. 8, 2009 in Trying to Conceive

Level 7 (176 Credits)
Answers (5)
  • i to want anouther child and our daughter is 20 months also i think being close in age is gonna be good for them they'll have alot to relate to me and my three sisters are all a year apart an we close and we all had babys a mouth apart we all relater to each other and were all ways there for one another so i think its a great idea to have em close together good luck and baby dust to all
    lemay25

    Answer by lemay25 at 8:40 AM on Jul. 8, 2009

  • I waited to have kids til my older ones were out of diapers - unless we had multiples I did not want any in diapers at the same time!!! Alot of kids getting along in childhood and older is about constant teaching of respect to others and self respect starting early early gently but firmly. I didn't tolerate any bullying between my kids themselves or to or from them with other kids. Mine are now teens and older and it was great to see them be friends and not competitive as kids just nice kids. Without teaching the respect and selfr. there's a much strong chance they'll do regular but aggravating to parents and upsetting to kids things of torment. If you can start out with just one kid in diapers that makes parenting easier right there to grow your family. Best wishes for you!!!!
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:35 AM on Jul. 8, 2009

  • I have three boys, 6, 4, and 2; and we are expecting a little girl in October. My boys are almost two years apart (April 8, 2003, March 5, 2005 and March 21, 2007) and I love it. Where one is, the other two are there also. There are times were they pick and fight, but most of the time they are wonderful together. They give each other giant hugs if one has been away for awhile (like they were this summer as each one went and spent a week with my parents by themself). I have no cons about having them all two years apart, its great!!! Now with a little girl on the way, things will definitely be a bit different for all of us. They will have to be a bit more gentle with her and she will be 2 years 7 months younger than the current baby.
    slmillerpa

    Answer by slmillerpa at 12:45 PM on Jul. 8, 2009

  • My son was 22 months when my daughter was born. I was TERRIFIED at at first because I started thinking about all that stuff and fearing for the worst. But they both surprised me: my toddler isn't jealous of the baby at all, he LOVES loving on her, giving her hugs and kisses; and my baby is SUCH a great baby, even better than my toddler was when he was little. The only time we have problems is when he wants something and I can't get up and get it for him because I'm feeding the baby. But over-all, it's been a very pleasant surprise, it doesn't have to horrible. Fear is normal with pregnancy in general (I'm sure you know that), and it doesn't get better with the second, but give yourself and your toddler a shot and you might be surprised. (My toddler adjusted to the new baby better and faster than even I did.)
    DragonRiderMD

    Answer by DragonRiderMD at 1:20 PM on Jul. 8, 2009

  • Mine are 9 and 5-4 and a half years apart to be exact.
    It was a good difference for dh and I. No double diaper duty or any of that. The con of the situation is that she can do so many things that he can not. He is totally fusterated about that (he is also immature as I am told id a boy thing). The pr of it all has been they both have been treated to lots of individual attention as she was at school much of the time I was spending w/him only. I think that there are pros and cons to both.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:41 AM on Jul. 9, 2009

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.