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How to deal with the heartache :(

Help...How do I deal with this heartache :(
I have known my sd for 8 yrs. and have been close her mom would always drop her off every wkend and holidays, but now she is 13 yrs. old and now her mom wants to be a part of all her life. I mean my sd lives with her but always was with us most of her younger life. Now my sd turned 13 and mom wants to keep her as much as possible to do more mother and daughter stuff (yes I feel a tad jealous and used)
For her 13th b/day she took her to get her bellybutton pierced. We were upset but what can you do? I am afraid this woman even though she is her mother is going to brainwash her and mold her the way she wants and we can not do nothing about it.
why is this woman all of a sudden want to be part of her life (yes she's her mother, but how about all those weekends and holidays. (bm likes to drink alot) every time I see her she has a beer in her hand. What kind of example is she setting?

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 8:50 AM on Jul. 8, 2009 in Teens (13-17)

Answers (3)
  • What does the divorce decree say about custody and visitation? Maybe that can be worked out in counselling and/or lawyer. I'd just make sure sd knows you love her and you welcome her any time. Encourage her to come over as often as she can with little notice and with a lot of notice - either way sk is welcome.

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:21 AM on Jul. 8, 2009

  • I agree, just make sure that your sd knows you love her and want to be a part of her life, too. She is 13 and very "moldable" right now. That's a difficult age and she's just now really finding out who she is and hopefully won't follow the example her bm is setting and start drinking, that could get out of hand if she starts this early. Good luck and best wishes. I know it's hard, but hang in there.

    Answer by JLB67 at 10:54 AM on Jul. 8, 2009

  • Aw, how sad. You keep being you, mama. Keep being there for her, keep taking care of her, keep in contact with her even when she's not at your house. Talk to her on MySpace, or whatever she's on. Just let her know how much you love her, and understand that now she has more than one role model selection to choose from. Believe that she'll see for herself what she wants to grow up and become. So many hugs to you, mama.

    Answer by MinstrelMommy at 3:28 PM on Jul. 8, 2009

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