Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

if you where adopted and found family ,. how to handle it?

I am adopted person, recently I found my real family. it's been a long road. come to find out that they are still doing things to bother you. my dad is still a drunk, my real mom is crazy, I've told her to leave me alone yet she wants to start fights, she used my brothers e-mail to get to me, and have my phone number..I've told her I want nothing to do with her, yet she won't listen to me. ..how would any of you handle this? I 'm having to drop my real family, sometimes it hurts all over again.

Answer Question
 
pattybear156

Asked by pattybear156 at 9:41 AM on Jul. 8, 2009 in Relationships

Level 1 (0 Credits)
Answers (5)
  • Well if you have a good adoptive family then there isn't much to be lost by cutting your "real" family loose. "Real" families don't act like that towards each other. I'm an "orphan" by choice, and it real has turned out for the better.
    MythicMMM

    Answer by MythicMMM at 9:48 AM on Jul. 8, 2009

  • sorry, really, not real on that last one.
    MythicMMM

    Answer by MythicMMM at 9:48 AM on Jul. 8, 2009

  • I'd be thankful that the one decent thing that they ever did is give me to a loving family so that I didn't have to grow up around them. Don't give in to your mother's taunts. Don't take her calls. She is not your real mother. You were blessed with an adoptive family that loves and adores you. Take solace in them.

    I have an adopted brother, he is just as much a part of our family as anyone who is biologically born to us. We love him, we worry about him, he drives us nuts, and he makes us laugh. Do not underestimate how much you belong with your adopted family.
    beckcorc

    Answer by beckcorc at 9:52 AM on Jul. 8, 2009

  • You calling them your "real" family bothers me..
    My DD was adopted at birth...and the real word just does not seem right..

    I am sorry that they turned out this way...you getting adopted sounds to be was the best thing for you.

    If you were my daughter I would tell you to continue to make yourself clear, that you do not want anything to do with them..

    Can you talk to your parents about what is going on...maybe they can be of some help.
    Dannee

    Answer by Dannee at 10:24 AM on Jul. 8, 2009

  • bio parents or not, you don't have to be hounded or harassed by anyone. Make it clear that if it continues you will feel forced to get a restraining order in order to assure yourself peace of mind. My older sister was adopted out and we met up a few years back. She chooses not to have a lot of contact with us and we respect that. If your bio parents don't respect you then you owe them no loyalty to show them respect. Protect yourself and your sanity at all costs. Then on Thanksgiving be extra thankful those crazies didn't keep you!
    admckenzie

    Answer by admckenzie at 11:57 AM on Jul. 8, 2009

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.