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aggressive behavior between 5 y/o & 15 month old boys

my oldest is 5 and is starting to really show signs of aggression towards his 15 month old little brother. it doesn't seem to be bothering him that he is being mean to his little brother either. everything is subtle enough so my husband and i don't "see" everything. i tried the old "do it back to him" this morning. he definately didn't like that! i get the whole jealousy motive, but i just don't know how to help him. any suggestions greatly appreciated.

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Asked by imprincessgoofy at 12:55 PM on Jul. 8, 2009 in School-Age Kids (5-8)

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Answers (3)
  • i have lots of boy cousins and boy stepbrother that are around that age and as old as 12. they have always been aggressive towards eachother. lots of time it started out as just play wrestling, and then when someone actually got mad it turned into an argument. my stepbrother and stepsister even had aggressive behavior towards eachother. kids are kids, and especially boys will be boys. but if it gets out of hand and you think hes really going to hurt him, then you should do something about it.

    Answer by PURPULbutterfly at 1:47 PM on Jul. 8, 2009

  • I have 2 boys Mason 6 and Adrian almost 4. When I brought Adrian home from the hospital his brother showed aggressive behavior towards him. It is jealously & it's because they're boys. My boys have a love / hate relationship. At times they get along great & others they just fight all day long. It can be very frustrating & exhausting for you the parent. I feel your pain. I have tried redirecting & labeling the behavior. Labeling the behavior such as, "That is not acceptable behavior. You do not hit your brother." Followed with a consequence such as a time-out may also help. Be careful, I have found that correcting the older child to often can lead to animosity towards his younger brother creating more issues.  I reward good behavior when I see it.  When I see Mason playing nice with his brother I give him praise & hugs. As your youngest gets older he will defend himself. Sometimes little interference works best. Goodluck!

    Answer by Beca-smiles at 6:24 PM on Jul. 8, 2009

  • Mason also has no remorse when he is mean to his brother. His attitude is pretty straight-forward. Adrian is his brother, therefore, he can say & do whatever he wants to him like it is his birthright. It's called the "Pecking Order". This is normal for their age group. It is still hard for them to label their emotions & convey them. Along with the above advice given you may want to set aside some "Mommy & Me" time with your oldest doing something he enjoys or wants to do at least once a week. I take Mason to the park & play with him a few times a week, just the two of us. He seems to really enjoy the time we share. We are also going to try putting him into sports now that he is more outgoing. This is one way he can channel that aggression & put it to good use. These are just a few ideas. If you would like you may send me a message & we could bounce ideas off eachother.


    Answer by Beca-smiles at 6:52 PM on Jul. 8, 2009

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