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mother in law problem

My mil keeps asking if she can come and pick up my 10 and a half month old son. She lives an hour away and wants to take him by herself back to her house for the day. I am uncomfortable with this. He has not seen her enough to know her, so he would be with a stranger (in a sense) all day who does not know his schedule. She also does not have many toys, no high chair, no place for him to nap. I do not want her to load him up in her car, drive with him for an hour, and then have him stay alone with her and then have to drive him another hour to get home. Every time I have been there she acts lazy and doesn't want to get out of the lazy boy, so I am not sure if she would watch him good enough. My husband just doens't get it... he thinks I am being silly. Am I just being overprotective? What should I say to get hubby off my back?

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 4:06 PM on Jul. 8, 2009 in General Parenting

Answers (5)
  • How about if you go along? You could explain that the baby is a handful (even if not precisely so) and that you'd feel better about things if you would be nearby even though she could have all care of the baby, you would be there to answer questions, and then you could kick back and watch TV or whatever you wanted to do.
    Bmat

    Answer by Bmat at 4:11 PM on Jul. 8, 2009

  • Tell him what you just said to us. Tell your MIL that if she wants to spend time with the baby then to come to your home and she can see him then and once he's use to her then maybe she can take him but not until you feel comfortable.
    My DD is almost 14 months old and we(my SO & I) haven't left her with ANYONE we aren't ready and we are the parents and what we say goes. So yes I do understand where your coming from. It's my baby and I am not gonna do that to my baby. Grandma or not Stand your growed your the mommy.
    raemommy

    Answer by raemommy at 4:12 PM on Jul. 8, 2009

  • raemommy has a great idea. Tell her that you'd be more comfortable if she watched him at your house since it's already set up for the baby. Let her come over and watch your baby while you go out for a few hours. She is his grandmother and she just wants to spend some time with him. Your husband survived her right? I think that's your best bet for a compromise.
    beckcorc

    Answer by beckcorc at 4:21 PM on Jul. 8, 2009

  • I like BMATs answer the most. Maybe you can find something to do in her town. That way you'll be close.
    Because right now the way you posted....it just sounds like your making excuses to NOT leave your son with his grandmother.
    My hubby would think I was silly if I said those things to him too.
    SoKamele

    Answer by SoKamele at 4:42 PM on Jul. 8, 2009

  • You've only seen her around the baby when YOU are there. Why should she do anything?

    Have you told her what his schedule is?

    Do you have a problem letting other relatives take him, or just her?

    Have you explained to her that she needs a high chair and something for him to nap in? Given her the chance to purchase those items?

    Do you not trust your own husband? If he trusts his family, should you not believe him? Not a very sound marriage if you don't trust him to do what he needs to do to keep his own kid safe.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 5:06 PM on Jul. 8, 2009

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