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Fed up!! Am I worng to feel this way???

So Im breastfeeding, and mt stepmothers mother is telling me I need to put my baby on a bottle as he is at the breast to much. She also tells me I need to stop picking him when he crys. He is only around 3 months old, and it is extremly bothering me that she feels the need to question my parenting skills. I think she may think that since he is at the breast so much that he isn't getting enough milk. I try to explain that he just wants to comfort suck.

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Asked by Anonymous at 4:13 PM on Jul. 8, 2009 in Babies (0-12 months)

Answers (16)
  • tell her... YOU are his mom... and if nothing else, YOU know what HE needs and to back off.... of course in nicer words... good luck!

    Answer by VictinaG at 4:14 PM on Jul. 8, 2009

  • That is one of the worst parts of parenting, people telling you what to do. You know what is best for your baby. I breastfeed too, there is no such thing as an over-breastfed baby. The baby knows when they are ready to stop nursing. Pay no attention to her!

    Answer by cdecker83 at 4:15 PM on Jul. 8, 2009

  • Also I go to visit my Father alot, and she is always there! Wish I could just say something without blowing up! Shes very hard headed, nothing I say will change her mind.

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:15 PM on Jul. 8, 2009

  • Thank her politely and then do what you know is best. ("Thank you for the advice. I'll keep it in mind. Right now what I am doing seems to be working well. " - something like this. )

    Answer by Bmat at 4:16 PM on Jul. 8, 2009

  • It sounds to me that your step-mother has some control issues. Let her know that you know what is best for YOUR child and a lot has change throw the years. You have everything under control but thanks for your in-put.

    Answer by raemommy at 4:17 PM on Jul. 8, 2009

  • LOL! Control Issues is right! Think I just need to be a bit less defensive. Im a first time Mom, so I tend to get angry when people question what Im doing. Thanks guys for the info.

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:21 PM on Jul. 8, 2009

  • It is normal for family members to intrude into new mom's parental decisions. At some point you will need to stand up for yourself and you could get your point across in a nice non-confrontational way.

    Try something like: "I know you have my child's best interest at heart and you probably feel that you are helping out with all your wonderful suggestions, however, as a new mom what I need the most from all of you is space to make decisions pertaining to my child and believe me, nobody knows what is best for this child than me, his mama, who carried him for 9 months.

    Newsflash, when it comes down to my child, you need to step back and allow me to parent as I see fit, that is the natural way of things and it isn't up for discussion, it just is. And change the subject, walk away or act completely oblivious to her if she tries to engage the subject ever again. Good luck and remember mama knows best aka you and only you.

    Answer by bebita at 4:21 PM on Jul. 8, 2009

  • I think that's more of a generational thing because when she was a mother, they were told holding thier babies too much spoiled them - its changed over the years and she is just uneducated about how parenting should be right now. You probably won't be able to change her mind but just tell her things have changed. I am sure its frusrtating but let her know You do know what to do.

    Answer by maxsmom11807 at 4:22 PM on Jul. 8, 2009

  • I know how you feel. When my dd was about 2 months old I had to go back to work and my mil came to stay with us for a few weeks so she could watch her during the day. She would comment on a daily basis that I needed to give her formula because I wasn't feeding her enough (I was pumping breast milk for her to feed during the day). Had she said it one time and left it at that I could have handled it, but she continued to say it EVERYDAY! I was very fed up with hearing it and had my dh talk to her and basically tell her to shut up and mind her own business (in a nice way of course). My dd was gaining weight and didn't act hungry so I knew she was getting what she needed. In the end, you're the mom and you know your baby and what he needs better than anyone else. My dd likes to 'comfort suck' still at 5 mo old and I don't see any problem with that.

    Answer by rebeccasmommy09 at 4:25 PM on Jul. 8, 2009

  • sounds like my mil. eventually, around 8 months, i just told her everything flat out and in a matter-of-fact way. i was firm, but polite. i explained that i researched the things i was doing, as well as talked it over with my doctor, and this was the way we were going to do things, end of story. i only wish i would have had the nerve to tell her sooner!

    Answer by kyriesmommy13 at 4:51 PM on Jul. 8, 2009

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