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fighting back

My oldest is only 3 but soon she's going to have to deal with a bully. What did you tell your kids about fighting when they were younger and how did it work out? And most of all, how much does "how you handle a bully" realate to dealing with other problems, socially, within the family, occomplishing their own goals, and so on....? I know there are books but I want to hear from several experienced moms.

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kira_5105

Asked by kira_5105 at 4:15 PM on Jul. 8, 2009 in School-Age Kids (5-8)

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Answers (5)
  • Um...why will she have to deal with a bully? Isn't that what parents are for? If your child is going to go to public school, contact them, they can help you with that.
    We tell our kids, don't start anything, but if something is started make sure they aren't standing up at the end. GROUND AND POUND. Never allow a bully their way.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:24 PM on Jul. 8, 2009

  • Wow Anon. I hope my kid never has a disagreement with your kid!!!
    I have tried to teach my son how to be polite, empathetic, etc. There is always a time or a situation when kids will be kids, I am sure he and others are not always going to act the right way. As he is still small, I have told him that he should get an adult involved when something like this happens. I do not encourage aggression, he already is NOT a push over by any means so why would I encourage him to be violent about it!!???
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 6:15 PM on Jul. 8, 2009

  • Ummm... how can a three year old really fight off a bully?

    Elementary school - they ignore it, then tell the teach, escalate it, and when there are no more steps to take, you teach them how to fight and win. this teaches them to do the right thing but also the lesson that sometimes they just have to take up for themselves. it builds confidence.

    but but at 3? has she really tried everything? like just standing there and saying 'so?'. There's got to be something you can do. Maybe you should remove her from the situation all together. At 3, that won't teach her to run from problems, you can teach her to stand up for herself when she's older. At 3, she just needs to know that you will keep her safe.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:00 AM on Jul. 9, 2009

  • ive told my son since the time he could understand me , if someone starts w/ u thats when u do something , u dont start! ... and one time this boy hit him on purpose , and he hit him back. i told him ANYONE touches him he fights back! he was 2 1/2 at the time i told him , and the 1st time he hit someone was 3 . parents arent always going to be there to help,so insted of letting children grow up to be sissys u need to teach them how to defend themselves.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:50 AM on Jul. 9, 2009

  • I don't think at that age they understand the whold concept of standing up for yourself. At that young of an age that is what parents are for. Kids are going to hit, bite, pull hair, ect. That is when parents or teachers or any other responsible adult should step in to teach right and wrong, not to teach them to do it back in self defense! I do agree when the child is older to teach self defense but as a last resort.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:50 PM on Jul. 9, 2009

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