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Not sure what to do. I dated a man for a very short time before I met my husband. I was totally taken by this man. Five years later we have come in contact again. He lives 9 hours away but is coming to my town this weekend and wants to see me. He says I was the one but he was too young to have the responsiblity of a woman and her 2 kids but he never stopped thinking about me or trying to find me. I feel the same and want to see him so bad but I love my husband and don't want to hurt him. I know its not right but I'm torn, so torn!

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Asked by Anonymous at 6:22 PM on Jul. 8, 2009 in Relationships

Answers (7)
  • Not trying to be rude or anything, but if you REALLY loved & are in love with your husband , how could you even think about another man that way? Is what your husband & you have worth holding onto? I wouldn't risk it.

    Answer by Anonymous at 6:31 PM on Jul. 8, 2009

  • This man said he could not take the responsibility of you and your children, but your DH was and is? It sounds to me like you are infatuated with the past. What makes you think he might be like he was when you dated? If you really want to meet, why don't go somewhere in public and bring your DH with you. This way you will not be easily swayed. The worst thing you can do is lie to you DH now. Also, remember, your DH has loved even with all the extra baggage you brought with. That never stopped him from making a life with and your kids. You need to remember who has loved you through thick and thin. I am not saying you will cheat on him, but just keep all this in mind if you meet with him.


    Answer by krissyvelazquez at 6:40 PM on Jul. 8, 2009

  • NO NO NO NO if you really love your husband leave the past IN THE PAST!!!!!!!!

    Answer by ColtsFan1912 at 6:54 PM on Jul. 8, 2009

  • On both sides (yours and his) its the all-mysterious-gloriously-passionate question of "what if?" Its a way for you and he to fantasize about how fabulous your lives would be together now, etc etc. The reality would more than likely be less then fabulous.

    Chemistry has a very strong pull over us. Its not a bad thing. But, its not anything other than what it is...chemistry.

    Put "what if?" and chemistry together, and there is a HUGE pull to act on it. But, really, you have to decided if a moment of passion (fabulous though it may be) is worth jeopardizing what you KNOW you have now. Everybody has doubts and wonders....and thats ok.

    If you don't think you can make this big decision, then don't even see him. If you can make up your mind one way or the other, then see him and let life fold out before you.

    Answer by ozarkgirl3 at 7:15 PM on Jul. 8, 2009

  • what do you want from the man? I think with what you've shared with us you are just going to torment yourself. Unless it's going somewhere you should do the right thing and tell him thanks but no thanks. Your family will appreciate it if you thought they were important enough to do that

    Answer by Anonymous at 7:20 PM on Jul. 8, 2009

  • There is nothing confusing about this.

    Once upon a time there was a guy who didn't meet your needs.

    You met and fell in love with another man, who you married.

    Marriage is for life.

    What is so confusing here?

    Are you seriously considering leaving your husband over this? Does your marriage and commitment to him mean nothing to you?

    Cut all contact with this other guy and stop paying so much attention to men who aren't your husband. Be a freakin' wife.

    Answer by Mousuke at 7:52 PM on Jul. 8, 2009

  • cut all contact unless your itching for a divorce...this guy didn't have the character to make it work with you the first time and obviously he hasn't aquired any since you broke it off otherwise he wouldn't be contacting a married mother...a real man nd a decent man wouldn't dream of contacting youlet alone requesting to see you...if you were the one he would avoid the possible destruction your reconnecting could cause to your life and your innocent children...I know its hard to see past those old feelings that feel so strong but take it from someone who has been always ends bad...especially for your kids...

    Answer by HisMoni at 1:10 AM on Jul. 9, 2009

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