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My husband is a narcisist...what would you feel about this?

I love my husband dearly and the only problem we have is that he is self-centered. My Grandmother,that I was very close to, died last week. Things have been so hard in the family. My husband has not been supportive of me. I have not pushed him to be or said anything about it. I have been trying to deal with it all by myself. I don't expect him to do anything for me. However, I don't think that it is right that he create more issues than needed. He is estranged from his family bc they 'don't accept him' so he rejected them back instead of trying to repair things. I have been as supportive as I could be through all of that. He made his choices and that is that. He yelled and screamed at me the other day. He told me he hated me bc I didn't like his family and he was mad that I am close to my family. He said I was a horrible person. I asked him why he was saying all of that to me. He replied that he missed his family and wanted...

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 8:07 PM on Jul. 8, 2009 in Relationships

Answers (4)
  • them around him again. I was so hurt by this because I am going through a lot of pain right now and the last thing I need is to be screamed at for something I have nothing to do with. He has acted this way on and off for years now. In therapy today the counselor said he has trust issues with me that cause him to express his feelings to me with anger. He has trust issues because his family rejected him and he projects on to me that I will reject him. I never have rejected him and I have always supported him and I don't give him crap for not being there for me when I need it. I hope and wish he would be there but I can't make him. So I don't. I am exhausted that he has done this for so long becuase he misses his family. He has devalued me and our daughter (the family we created) because his estranged family doesn't call him and see how he is. What do you think of all of this? And what would you do?
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:07 PM on Jul. 8, 2009

  • I see youre going to therapy and that'sgood, but it's not helping...Try telling the therapist that it's not helping and ssee if he/she does anything different, if not get a different one...Your husband , on the other hand, has to at least try, and if he doesn't and continues this verbal abuse, then I'm sorry to say, but you should at least separate, and tell him u mean business. Whatever happened with his family is the past and he can't keep using that as an excusefor being hateful to you. My husband's family is the lowest form of dog shit and have treated him bad his whole life, including stealing from him, and he doesn't treat me bad in response. There's a deeper issue there that the therapist needs to look at. I'm sorry u have to go thru this, and I'm sorry about ur grandma, I was close with mine too and when she died I was utterly heartbroken..Hang in there!
    mumma28

    Answer by mumma28 at 8:22 PM on Jul. 8, 2009

  • there are plenty of books out there on how to deal with a narcissist. It's not easy. I know that first hand.
    admckenzie

    Answer by admckenzie at 8:59 PM on Jul. 8, 2009

  • my dh is estrange from his family to and it hurts him to see how close i am to most of my family. i make the effort to spend one on one with him with and without r kids so he learns to see that im not going to abanding him like his family did. wego see his family like 5-6 times a year just b/c his dad is sick and might die at anytime when we go there no one talks to us and they treat us like crap so this year all we have dont is call and talk to his dad and no one else hes like if they cant except that im sick b/c of how my mom and dad raised me then they can go to hell i have my family now and u r all i need. yeshe goes to counsleing and he takes meds to deal with depression over it but slowly he is comeing around and he sees how things can be when family sticks together
    rainmommy

    Answer by rainmommy at 9:59 PM on Jul. 8, 2009

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