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how do I make him understand he not a bad boy?

when my 3 y/o son gets in trouble he always tells me that he is a bad boy. I tell him he is a very good boy but made a bad choice. he does it even if he isn't being punished, just warned. one day he said it so I asked him if he wants to be a bad boy and he said yes. I told him the consequence and he said he wants to be a good boy. I told him he is a good boy but the action he did was a naughty one. how do I get him to stop thinking HE is bad? how do I get him to understand he makes poor choices? I point out when he is being good too and it doesn't help him think he's a good boy.

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Asked by Anonymous at 11:33 PM on Jul. 8, 2009 in Preschoolers (3-4)

Answers (4)
  • I used the word naughty to describe any thing wrong to my kids for the reason that you having trouble with that. Try not using the word bad to describe any thing and see if he improves with his self perception.

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:35 PM on Jul. 8, 2009

  • Well, children live what they learn, so someone has to be telling him that he is bad. Does a grandparent do that? Or his father? I would figure that out, cause little ones don't just come up with things like that. I can't stand it when I hear people tell their child he/she is "being bad" when they do something. So, yeah, I'd just see who is telling him that. Does he go to daycare? I'd really be pissed if the daycare provider was saying that....

    Answer by workathome01 at 11:36 PM on Jul. 8, 2009

  • I went through that same problem with my almost 4 year old, I know what you mean,
    I noticed that when he was wanting to get into trouble he would call himself bad boy it was like an excuse for him to get into trouble and I have tried everything with him, talk to him etc.
    Finaly I got fed up with it so I started swatting his butt everytime he called himself bad boy and I told him this what happens to bad boys, and let me tell you what he wasnt a bad boy no more

    Answer by looovemybabies at 11:55 PM on Jul. 8, 2009

  • A three year old cannot possibly comprehend the difference between a choice he makes and who he is. So saying it is a bad choice is WAAAAY over his little head. If you don't want him thinking he is a bad boy, find a different word, or better yet just switch to, "do not do that, you CAN do this" leaving out the adverb all together.

    Answer by Petie at 6:54 PM on Jul. 9, 2009

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