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What is the funniest thing that you or your SO has said in your sleep?

My husband is a sleep walker and a talker, so I am always cracking people up with some of his... more interesting... episodes - but I know that a lot of people have some wonderfully hilarious random outbursts and want to hear what you all have "overheard" or been told that you said!!! Share ladies!

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vdecker

Asked by vdecker at 2:35 AM on Jul. 9, 2009 in Just for Fun

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Answers (14)
  • "Move out of the way, I need to cut the grass!" "But honey, we don't have any grass...we're in an apartment..." "Oh. OK. Goodnight."
    Llamatron

    Answer by Llamatron at 2:37 AM on Jul. 9, 2009

  • My DH is a very active sleeper. Talks and makes many movements (i have yet to see him or hear of him sleep walking). ...The strangest thing i've ever heard him do is in his sleep is make love to me. ...lol
    it was really weird. He spoke as himself AND as me. "yea Daddy, that's how i like it" "Oh. That's how you want it, sexy girl? okay." ect ect.
    When i first heard him say whatever whatever "daddy" ...i was like WTF?
    outstandingLove

    Answer by outstandingLove at 2:38 AM on Jul. 9, 2009

  • my boyfriend told me to be quiet because that he had to be up for school at 7 am lol and I reached to cuddle with him one night and he said OMG ALYSIA! I dont want to make it obvious that we're *ucking LMFAO! I WAS PREGNANT AT THE TIME LOL and he told me not to waste my money at a strpi club. He was woken up with an ice tea bath that night!
    Alysia_Moore

    Answer by Alysia_Moore at 2:42 AM on Jul. 9, 2009

  • Apparantly I said "dancing pickles" one night in my sleep. I don't remember it but my husband swears that I did.
    catwalksymphony

    Answer by catwalksymphony at 2:47 AM on Jul. 9, 2009

  • So one night when I was still pregnant I woke up around 3 am or so and couldn't find my husband.. He sleep walks, so I got really worried because, no joke, I have found him asleep in the woods behind our house before and was worried that he had wandered out again.

    So I check the entire house and can't find him anywhere. Both the doors are locked from the inside, so I know he is in the house. All of a sudden I notice that the laundry room doors are pushed open a little and I walk in to find my husbands bottom half hanging out of the dryer!!! He was on his knees with his entire upper body in the dryer, asleep on my nice clean, warm towels and clothes!!!
    vdecker

    Answer by vdecker at 3:11 AM on Jul. 9, 2009

  • So I wake him up, thinking he had to throw up and thought it was the toilet (he has peed in the corner before thinking it was the toilet! He would so kill me for sharing this! Remember, he is a sleep walker! lol). So I am trying to wake him up and I was asking him "what are you doing?!?!?" Still asleep, he answers "I had to check that guy's sheets!"

    I start laughing hysterically and it snaps him out of his sleep... He is just kneeling there, staring at me and blinking really hard, like trying to figure out what was going on!!!

    Needless to say when I told him what happened we had a good laugh - but I definitely rewashed the clothes!!
    vdecker

    Answer by vdecker at 3:11 AM on Jul. 9, 2009

  • he told m ethat 41 wasnt good
    also that there were people on the line in his head that he had to make sure that the ones behind the ones on the line were ok
    he also tells me that he is going to the store
    lol to much to write its a nightly thing with my husband
    Mrs.Owen86

    Answer by Mrs.Owen86 at 3:18 AM on Jul. 9, 2009

  • he never talks in his sleep except this one time he was saying "mmmm...thats it....right there....that feels good...mmmm"

    LOL
    VintageWife

    Answer by VintageWife at 3:30 AM on Jul. 9, 2009

  • My husband was playing baseball one night in his sleep! I listened for a while to make sure that he was ACTUALLY PLAYING THE GAME and not using code for hitting on another woman! When I was convinced I woke him up and he said that he had been dreaming about me!!
    beautiful1273

    Answer by beautiful1273 at 3:35 AM on Jul. 9, 2009

  • My first hubby was an Airforce hydraulic mechanic. One night, soon after we married and moved on base, I was stroking "him" and kissing on his neck- he seemed into it. I asked him (innocently- LOL), "How come that thing gets hard when you're asleep?" I was hoping for a little wake up nookie! What I got was an in depth explanation on how "hydraulic fluid builds up in the chamber creating a blah blah blah... hardening of the yadda yadda yadda... release valves and pressures and coolants! OMG- I hate that fuc*er now, but that is still some funny sh*t!
    twiliyte

    Answer by twiliyte at 3:45 AM on Jul. 9, 2009

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