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what to do when your child wants nana instead of mama??? :(

hello all, I am just heartbroken :( (i cry as I write) My 2 1/2 yr old son has been looked after by my MIL who went home in April and now my mom who came in June. I work full time, so I LOVE putting my son to bed and cuddling with him, even though it may take an hour...whole other topic. When my MIL was babysitting he always wanted mama to go to bed with him but when he'd wake at night he would go to nanas room, which was kind of okay...I cried about that aswell. But in the past 3-4 nights my son wants nana to go to bed with him...NOT mama????? I am heartbroken :( But it gets worse...I dealt with that because he still came looking for mama when he'd wake at night. BUT just last night he came into my bed and after a few moments he said "I want my nana" OH GOD...I am devestated...I have been up allnight crying. I dont know what to do about this...I try to spend quality time with him when I am home, but I feel like a failure

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Asked by PMK2006 at 7:20 AM on Jul. 9, 2009 in Preschoolers (3-4)

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Answers (3)
  • Your not a failure. It is his comfort zone. A child will cling to the one they spend more time with. Both of my boys were the same way with my mom. She watched them while I worked. During the summers, they would spend weeks with her. It hurt at first, but I also looked at it as "what if they never again had the opportunity" my parents are getting up there in age. Now that my boys are older, it has changed. They want their friends more or they want to spend more time at dads. It is a life process, and yeah I sometimes am bitter about it, but I have to let them grow and be theirself.

    Answer by kscmbz at 9:25 AM on Jul. 9, 2009

  • I understand where you are coming from.. we live with my mom. i stay at home with dd all day & my mom & DH work... But during the day my dd will want her nanny to come home & in the last few months dd has been sleeping with nanny in her bed & doesnt want to sleep with us anymore.
    I think it also has something to do with grandparents are just so sweet & let the kids get away with more- they are more like a soft friend that will give them sweet treats... But as a parent we dont let them have cookies (cause nanny already did!) and we prefer them to eat fruits & we make them lisnen. ect. ect... Its not that they love us any less at all.... there is just a special magic between grandparents & their grandkids.. Enjoy it! One day you will get the same with your grandkids!

    Answer by MommaTasha1003 at 2:02 PM on Jul. 9, 2009

  • I don't know about the others, but my 3 year old grandson always wants the one who's NOT with him at the time. If I'm with him, he wants Mommy, if he's with Mommy, he wants me, lol. We all live together, btw.

    I know you feel hurt, but honestly, he's too young to be hurtful on purpose. It's the age, seriously. Just give him love when he comes looking for it. The above poster is right, there is just something different about the relationship between grandparents and kids. As a grammy myself, I can definitely say that the relationship that I have with my grandsons is VERY different than the one I had with my own kids (not that I didn't love my own kids very much). It's just very special.

    Answer by eternallymom at 3:23 PM on Jul. 9, 2009

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