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My 9 yr old has a SERIOUS attitude problem. I need suggestion from you mother's otherwise I'm gonna end up slappin the mess out of her! My 9 yr old is really workin my last nerve. She needs a major attitude adjustment. Recently she got in trouble for disobeying me about a particular shirt.

I gave her a white tank top of mine (i'm petite & we almost wear the same size clothes) that I didnt want anymore. She said she wanted it so I told her she could have it but only allowed to wear it in the house or to sleep in because its a little big & shows her bra. She asked if she could wear it under her shirts when she would go to camp. I told her thats fine as long as she kept the top shirt ON. One day I go to pick her up from camp & she has on the tank only! I said wheres the top shirt u had on this morning? She said she took it off because it got hot. We went looking for the shirt & couldn't find it. This isnt the first time shes done this. I grounded her for this& threw the tank away. Shes not allowed to pick her own clothes out for 2 weeks as punishment. I purposely make sure I pick out clothes that aren't so cute because I want to teach her a lesson. She walks around with major attitude now, I want to strangle her!

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Asked by Anonymous at 11:49 AM on Jul. 9, 2009 in Tweens (9-12)

Answers (13)
  • I'm sorry but I stop reading your post after the 4th line. Are you talking about a t-shirt?

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:54 AM on Jul. 9, 2009

  • ((OP))
    If you don't want to read the entire post then don't. It's long I know but I had to explain the scenario of what happend.

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:02 PM on Jul. 9, 2009

  • I would have answered sooned, but I was laughing too hard. Girls are all so much alike.

    First, this is normal. Second, don't give a girl clothing that you don't want her to wear or that does not meet the school dress code.

    It is so important, especially now that hormones are kicking in, to be consistent with rewards and punishments. Be very clear with your expectations: if you do X, the punishment will be Y. Keep your word, always; this means that no matter how much screaming, yelling or crying there is, the punishment lasts (three days of no phone, etc.).

    Good luck, and feel free to ask me any questions (I have a 13 year old girl).

    Answer by rkoloms at 12:06 PM on Jul. 9, 2009

  • To me, it seems like you went a little far. Throwing the tank away would have been fine. I'd have an attitude too, if you made me wear the ugliest clothes you could find. That seems like it is going just a bit too far.

    Answer by Petie at 6:59 PM on Jul. 9, 2009

  • Well I must say you did just what I would do.. have done... I don't have anything in my daughters clothing that I would not like... no matter what... mine does not respect boundries (mental illness) so I eliminate the challenge.. she can pick out her clothes but as she does not have anything I don't approve it tooks the fight out... after her two weeks are up you can ask her what was wrong with the issue... if she can see her problem then the lesson is learned... if not you need to watch her what clothing she has... keep her cloths that of other kids her age but with taste and style, shop together...

    Answer by BlessingsBegin at 8:51 PM on Jul. 9, 2009

  • I agree.. I think was a lot of drama for nothing. She's 9, not 15. I'm sure she didn't remove her t-shirt to deliberately piss you off. Next time don't let her wear the tank out of the house. You threw it away so it's over. Making her wear ugly outfits won't teach her anything. If anything now she'll sneak around.

    Answer by CoolGirlChris at 10:29 PM on Jul. 9, 2009

  • Yeah my daughter would have done the same thing! I've learned to not even give/buy her things that I don't approve of. It's not worth the hassle.

    Answer by Mother_2_Three at 9:01 AM on Jul. 10, 2009

  • (((OP)))
    I know it may seem I went a little too far in my punishment. But... like I stated before, this is not the first time she has done this. I probably should have thrown the shirt away the last time she pulled this stunt however, I wanted to give her the opportunity to show me that I can trust her to make the right decisions. But she did the same thing again. I know she is only 9 but I want to teach her that whatever the circumstances, she needs to make the right decisions whether or not anybody is looking. Thats what I'm trying to instill in her. The reason for picking out ugly clothes for her to wear is to show her if she can't follow mom's rules, then she will no longer have the privilege of picking out her own clothes & if I pick out cute stuff that she would otherwise pick out, that's not any real punishment now is it? From now on, I'm not giving her anything I'll have a problem with her wearing to avoid the drama.

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:23 AM on Jul. 10, 2009

  • hmm i think she is going to rebel against you more.i know im not the perfect mom but after having 2 grown girls i can honestly say dont sweat the petty.cause believe me the petty is only get bigger.i wouldnt put her in a position of screwing up know what she was going to do.i could have told you.its like when they go off to school and you tell them you can only where this top if you keep on the hoodie and low and behold off they come from the bus with hoodie tied around there waist.

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:25 PM on Jul. 10, 2009

  • I think she is more likely to rebel if she sees this bothers you as much as it does. I have 3 girls 13, 14, and almost 16. NO, you are not taking it too far. If those are the rules for her right now at her age (and IMO they are NOT unreasonable) then those are the rules.... plain and simple. I'd just try not to show that she is 'ruffling your feathers' quite so much. That is exactly what makes her feel better.

    Answer by Tracyrae at 11:38 AM on Jul. 11, 2009

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