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she buys me cheap stuff...

My mother in law all the time buys us cheap gifts, but she buys more expensive stuff for her daughter’s family. We spend more time with them, they come to our house all the time, we buy them expensive gifts but her daughter never buys them any thing. whole my husbands life they bought more and spend more for their daughter than my husband but they all the time tell him you and your family are our favorite, and we want to live close to your house that we can see you more often. How would you feel about your in laws if they acted this way?

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 1:23 PM on Jul. 9, 2009 in Just for Fun

Answers (10)
  • Wow I went through the same thing just go to the 99 cent store and get her a glass figrure she'll love it hahaha
    BriannaBopp

    Answer by BriannaBopp at 1:25 PM on Jul. 9, 2009

  • I wouldn't feel one way or the other. They are buying you stuff....they could be just not getting you anything.
    CarolynBarnett

    Answer by CarolynBarnett at 1:26 PM on Jul. 9, 2009

  • well...i get this treatment from my own family. we get the short end of the stick emotionally, eventhough were the ones who are there the most, and would bend over backwards. so i finally quit it...didnt change much but i put forth the energy towards other things now, so i guess i feel better. You cant change how people are, but you truly shouldnt place value on what you get, be thankful you were thought of.
    sweetstkissez22

    Answer by sweetstkissez22 at 1:30 PM on Jul. 9, 2009

  • But that's not fair to us. They have money and they are spending it to their other kids, why not us. They see some benefits form us but not her daughter. My sister in law visits them every few month and she does not like spending too much time with her parents.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:33 PM on Jul. 9, 2009

  • Be grateful for what you are receiving. My son and I almost died during child birth and my DH's family was nowhere to be seen. My mother and sister were there for him. His brother's and sister never even went to see our son in the N.I.C.U. and his mother only came once in those 35 days. The only people on his side of the family that came to our small reception were his mother and his sister and they came late. He is Hispanic and the first phrase that I learned was, "Dame chavo (sp?)" and that means "give me money" or "lend me money." His family only calls when they need something and his sister has been living in our home free and clear for months and ran our phone bill through the roof so instead of any money given going toward household expenses it goes to pay off the phone bill. My kids have never gotten a Christmas or b-day present in 4 years, however his grandma gave my oldest a toy twice and my youngest one once.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:35 PM on Jul. 9, 2009

  • Frankly, I find this to be a little selfish and silly. You've said that their daughter doesn't come to see them much, maybe that's why they get her expensive gifts. Hoping to lure her back into a real relationship with them. Maybe they feel that their relationship with you is good enough that they don't have to fill in with expensive gifts. You guys are there and they stay close. Your children knowing their Grandparents at all, isn't that a gift in itself? To grow up knowing your family and who you are? Besides, don't you think that it would be spoiling them to get them expensive stuff all the time?
    DellaF88

    Answer by DellaF88 at 1:54 PM on Jul. 9, 2009

  • My in-laws buy junk too!! I wish they wouldn't spend their money buying my dd stuff that, if it makes it home, goes straight into the Goodwill bag. Plus...my MIL is a SUPER BITCH to boot!!!
    mommy2karsyn

    Answer by mommy2karsyn at 1:55 PM on Jul. 9, 2009

  • "But that's not fair to us. They have money and they are spending it to their other kids, why not us. They see some benefits form us but not her daughter. My sister in law visits them every few month and she does not like spending too much time with her parents."

    You are not going to change them; you'll have to deal with them as is--maybe not putting as much energy into the relationship.

    It could be:

    They're just playing favorites, OR
    They think their girls NEED them, but their son is a man and can stand on his own, OR
    They don't have to "work" to keep your attention and affection, but they have to buy their girls'.

    If they otherwise treat you, your dh and your children well, I'd overlook the gift issue. It doesn't seem like they are trying to insult you or send you notsosubtle messages.
    happytexasCM

    Answer by happytexasCM at 2:04 PM on Jul. 9, 2009

  • With my IL's, once we were settled and doing well on our own, we stopped gifts among the adults (unless you find something special you just have to give) and only buy for the children
    happytexasCM

    Answer by happytexasCM at 2:04 PM on Jul. 9, 2009

  • You can always re-gift the items you receive from her if you don't appreciate them. I always thought it was the thought behind the gift, not the expense that mattered.
    She may know her daughter's tastes more and may be sending her more expensive items because she has a closer bond with her or she misses her.
    I think it is a bit selfish and petty that you would compare yourself to her own daughter. If your husband, her son, has a problem with it, then he needs to speak to his own mother himself. It has nothing to do with you. If you don't wish to accept her gifts because you feel they are too cheap for your standards, then hand them back to her and tell her that.
    I don't see how what she sends to her own daughter has become your business anyway.
    PrydferthMenyw

    Answer by PrydferthMenyw at 5:40 AM on Jul. 10, 2009

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