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Can anyone help me understand this?

My husband has majority custody of my stepson. Biomom gets him once during the week. About 2 months ago, we all talked about enrolling him into a summer camp type deal. So my husband and I enrolled him. He also plays baseball every summer. Well, Wednesdays are mom's days. Dad and her arranged for her to pick son up from camp and then take him straight to the games since they are nearly back to back. Tuesday, I get a phone call from Mom asking if I can pick son up from camp and take him to the game. She would meet us at the game and just take him home afterward. She said that it was too much running around for her to do. I agree, no problem. So Wednesday morning she calls again, and asks if I will be picking son up. I say I will and that I will take all of his baseball stuff to the game so she doesn't need to worry about anything. I get to camp to pick up son, and he has already been checked out. Mom came and got him. CONT.

 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 1:33 PM on Jul. 9, 2009 in General Parenting

This question is closed.
Answers (11)
  • Nope. She could be extremely forgetful, which I doubt, or she might just be trying to get on your nerves, or she may have just missed her son.

    Just take a deep breath and be thankful that your SS is safe. We can't always understand the actions or motivations of others.

    Talk to your DH, vent a little, and discuss this with her later.

    Hang in there mama!
    twin_mommy

    Answer by twin_mommy at 1:47 PM on Jul. 9, 2009

  • We panic and drive to the field to see if Mom got him and is at the field. She has no cell phone, so we just go down there. When we get there, she said she was sorry, but that she had done so much stuff that day that she had forgotten what the plan was. My husband was home both times that she called me, so he had heard the conversations and she had discussed it with him on Tuesday as well. My husband says, "Well, we discussed this at length. I mean, you two talked about it today." She says that we didn't talk that day, and that we had only talked the day prior. My husband says that he was home when she called that morning and she said, "Oh well then I guess I did talk to her today."
    Does anyone understand what the hell may have been going on inside that head?
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:36 PM on Jul. 9, 2009

  • Well, first let me say that you are extremely patient and kind. I raise my stepson and his mom is insane and is trying to take me down with her, I can't be that patient with her anymore, so I refuse to even deal with her.

    It sounds like she is high, to tell you the truth. Was she acting fidgety? Not looking you in the eye? Acting stranger than normal? OR was this all her normal behavior?
    feesharose

    Answer by feesharose at 1:44 PM on Jul. 9, 2009

  • Hmmmm . . . she is either messing with you guys or maybe there is a medical reason for her behavior. Maybe she really did forget talking to you.
    TessLouise

    Answer by TessLouise at 1:57 PM on Jul. 9, 2009

  • OP
    I have been raising my stepson since he was 14 months old. And his mother is one of those that if she does the bare minimum, everyone gets so excited because she came through at all. My stepson has told me that he doesn't expect her to do anything, so when she does do something it is amazing for him. Understand what I mean? We have been dealing with this type of thing for years. This is the second time in a week that she has had problems with the schedule that have left us wondering where he is. It is somewhat normal, but exaggerated now. She was always really flaky and whatnot, but it has gotten worse lately. My husband thinks it is just for attention.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:03 PM on Jul. 9, 2009

  • I think your husband's probably right. Do y'all have contact with her family? If so, maybe give them a call and ask if they're experiencing similar memory lapses from her.

    She could also just being trying to drive you crazy. Start recording her calls and playing them back to her. If you face her with the evidence that you're on to her games, maybe they'll stop.

    At least she'll have to come up with a new and exciting game to play.
    Avarah

    Answer by Avarah at 2:23 PM on Jul. 9, 2009

  • I've shown up to daycare a half a dozen times to pick up my daughter only to find out my hubby's already picked her up. We usually talk about it in the morning, but sometimes my day at work is so hectic I can't remember if it's my pick up day or his. If she doesn't have a cell phone, she couldn't call to ask, and she probably just wanted to make sure he got picked up. I really don't think it's that big of deal. I have mom-brain all the time. If it happens frequently, maybe it's a problem. But once could be an honest mistake.
    lvpenguino

    Answer by lvpenguino at 2:29 PM on Jul. 9, 2009

  • How old is your SS? My brother had a similar issue with his son and the bio mom. When my nephew was 10 my brother got him a cell phone, just one of those that can only call certain numbers and can only recieve calls from certain numbers. That way when bio mom didn't pay her cell bill or just wasn't answering we could always get ahold of my nephew to see where he was and that he was ok.
    ljmcmichael

    Answer by ljmcmichael at 2:39 PM on Jul. 9, 2009

  • OP here
    He is 7, and somewhat forgetful. He has a tendency to leave things all over the place. We considered getting him a firefly phone, I think that is the one that you meant, ljmcmichael, but we are nervous he will lose it.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:46 PM on Jul. 9, 2009

  • OP

    I could almost understand it if it were after a long day at work. She doesn't work. Hasn't by choice for years. Most of her things that she does are voluntary and recreational. On the days that she doesn't have SS, she may have to go to the doctor, but other than that, she seems to fill her days with things that she wants to do. Her mother says that is so that she can feel like an "accomplished person."
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:54 PM on Jul. 9, 2009