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Time Outs

We started putting our son in time outs at 16 months... so 4 months ago. My husband doesn't think they are doing anything or that our son is learning from them. We put him in there if he intentionally spills on the floor - like dumps his cup, or if he's not listening after 2 times of me telling him to do something. But I think that eventually they will do the trick but now I wonder - Do time out's really work? what exactly should he be getting put in time out for? until what age do people use time out? He doesn't really consider them a form of punishment right now - in fact sometimes he gets done and runs over and repeats what he did and puts himself back in there - lol!!

 
maxsmom11807

Asked by maxsmom11807 at 2:03 PM on Jul. 9, 2009 in General Parenting

Level 29 (40,703 Credits)
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Answers (5)
  • OK so you have to put him in a corner where he cant see or hear anything and he has to face the wall! You put him there and say "time out for 1 minute" then you set the timer and if he gets up or turns around during time out you don't say anything you just pick him up and put him back facing the wall, and you reset the timer. Once it goes off you tell him ok come here "now what was the no no" and make him tell you or point to what he did wrong. Say he touched something he wasn't allowed to touch so he has to point to the "no no" and say "no no" this is what we do and it really works. Our kids hate time outs, they go nuts! Our son just turned 2 and we put him in time out and he cries until the buzzer goes off then he'll tell us what he did wrong. Our DD is 13 months and she sits there quietly then when she gets out she'll say "no no" to whatever she did wrong. It really works, try it. OH buy a timer that buzzes so he knows.
    VasquezFamily

    Answer by VasquezFamily at 2:10 PM on Jul. 9, 2009

  • i use time out with my almost 3 year old daughter. They really do work. For example yesterday she was throwing a tantrum because she wanted to play my nephews Nitendo DS and she was told no. So i put her in time out. Now my time out rule is you stay in time out for 1 minute per year of your age (So 3 minutes for my little one) and that also means she has to be quiet for those 3 minutes. That means no kicking, screaming, yelling, throwing herself around, just sitting there quietly! She ended up in time out for 1 hour and 27 minutes because she would not sit quietly. She eventually got it through her head that she would not be getting up until she sat quietly for 3 minutes. Once she figured that out she got quiet and sat for 3 minutes and she was let out of time out.. She then came to me and apologized for throwing a tantrum and did not ask to play his DS again. I do believe time outs work and will use them until they don't.
    Momma2beauties

    Answer by Momma2beauties at 2:10 PM on Jul. 9, 2009

  • Maybe he's too young to "understand" the consequence of it?? Make a naughty chair and explain it to him..why he's sitting there. Keep doing it because eventually he will understand it. They do work. My son is 6 and his time outs are now in the corner. He hates it..and gets it!
    NJMom2Tyler

    Answer by NJMom2Tyler at 2:43 PM on Jul. 9, 2009

  • The point of time outs is to separate the child from what he is doing & to make him understand you don't want him to do it. Consider approaching it, not as punishment, but as a learning opportunity, just changing your mindset can help a lot. Believe it or not, explaining why you don't want him to do X & how you feel about him doing it can help. For example "I don't want you to dump your juice because then I have to clean it up & I get very tired from cleaning things up many, many times". Some kids are more empathetic than others, but it seems to help eventually with just about all kids. Some kids have to have their "time out" in a separate room from everyone else for it to work. I don't like the idea of timed time outs, because it seems arbitrary to toddlers. I prefered saying "stay there until you can play nice (or apologize or stop making messes, etc.). Then it empowers them to be the ones to make a change.
    nysa00

    Answer by nysa00 at 2:48 PM on Jul. 9, 2009

  • As you know it doesn't always go that smoothly. You might have to walk him to his time out area many times. But if you remain firm, but calm (don't let him bait you into arguing about the behavior), it can work wonders. It did with my daughter & worked great when I was watching my nieces while their parents worked last summer.
    nysa00

    Answer by nysa00 at 2:50 PM on Jul. 9, 2009

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