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How do I deal with this guilt and still be successful at work?

I have been a SAHM for 5 years now. The agreement between my husband and I was that I could stay at home until our child is in kindergarten, that way I could be there for him while he was little and then I can make enough money to do the extra things in life, when he was old enough to enjoy it. Well, it is that time. I will be finishing up my Bachelor's this fall and then I have to get a job. I feel guilty already though. I mean I want to work because I enjoy it, but at the same time, I feel guilty that I won't be able to be at every game that my son attends, and I won't be there for him right after school (he will be going to after school care). How do I deal with this guilt so that I can do a good job at work and feel that I am a good mom?


Asked by Anonymous at 2:53 PM on Jul. 9, 2009 in Just for Fun

This question is closed.
Answers (5)
  • Understand that you can't be there all the time anyway. Even if you weren't working! He's at the age where it's time to start functioning on his own bit by bit.

    A lot of employers allow balance so you can attend important events. And my son actually preferred after school care to being home with me...time with his friends was more fun! And as a result, we actually enjoyed our weekends more.

    Answer by gdiamante at 3:24 PM on Jul. 9, 2009

  • It's all about balance these days - I can't count how many seminars I've been to on the topic of work/life balance. A lot of employers are family friendly and allow you to take off within reason for children's activities. You can also look for a job that doesn't require much overtime and has hours that fit well with your life. If you work from 9 - 5 and your child goes to school from 8 - 3, then you are really only missing a couple of hours a day and a good afterschool program can be a lot like an extended recess for him. What options are available to you probably depends a lot on where you live and your field of study. Good luck!

    Answer by TweenAndTwinMom at 3:05 PM on Jul. 9, 2009

  • Perhaps you could work part time and be home when your son is out of school? This is what I did. Say work mornings only, and then you would also be around for afternoon games, anyway, and when he gets home.
    Regardless, you are being a good mother either way. By being at home for him, and also by being in the work force and giving him that much more security, and maybe even independence- he'll learn to get along without mom nearby. His going to kindergarten is a step in that direction already. There are many children of working moms who are very well-adjusted and happy. It is normal to have pangs when your life changes, hold your head up high and move forward. :)

    Answer by Bmat at 3:14 PM on Jul. 9, 2009

  • Think of it this way: A lot of kids, including my son, have been in daycare since they were 6 weeks old and your son got to spend 5 years with you!
    Also, you are working FOR him, right? Not to be selfish but to give him the life you want him to have.

    Answer by MommyKKay at 3:56 PM on Jul. 9, 2009

  • Find a job that allows you to be there for him. One that lets you get out when he gets off from school. One that lets you call out when your child is home sick. He's always been with you. This is going to be a huge change for him.

    Answer by Chrissy629 at 1:19 PM on Jul. 12, 2009