Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

How can I ease my one year olds separation anxiety?

My son has just turned one in June and all of a sudden he has become very very clingy to me. He will scream like he is dieing if I even think about leaving the room without him. He is also breastfed and wants to nurse more than ever! He will not let anyone else take him away from me. He will let some hold him but if they try to walk away with him he will Freak! I've been told this is separation anxiety, but I don't know what I should do about it if there is anything I can do? And about how long should I expect this behavior out of him?


Asked by Anonymous at 2:56 PM on Jul. 9, 2009 in General Parenting

This question is closed.
Answers (8)
  • My 12 month old (who was formula fed) is experiencing the same thing. They are just overwhlemed by their growing independence. On one hand, it's exciting that they can do lots of things for themselves, but on the other hand, it makes them scared. The best way to handle it is to let them know you are near without "hovering" over them. If you have to go into another room, let them know where you're going. If your child toddles into another room, wait a minute or so before checking on them. Let them know you are always there for him.

    Answer by Fallaya at 8:03 PM on Jul. 9, 2009

  • At my daycare, when the kids start to fuss when mom leaves, they count the CDs hanging from the ceiling. Our daycare teacher holds the baby up and lets them hit just plain old CDs that have been hung with string and count. By the time the game's over, mom is gone and they don't even remember.

    Answer by lvpenguino at 3:00 PM on Jul. 9, 2009

  • For me the easiest thing to do is to not draw it out. I HAVE to take her to daycare, because I have bills to pay. I sign her in, I pick her up, give her a hug and a kiss, tell her I love her, and hand her over to the lady. Then I walk out the door.

    There are other mothers that draw it out, trying to get their kid to stop crying while they are there, and I think they are just making it worse.

    The way I see it, you KNOW your kid is ok, not hurt, not starving, and you have to live your life. You are gonna have to go from room to room in the house without him at your heals, you are gonna have to leave him with other people long as you truly know he is OK then just ignore it like you would a temper tantrum.

    Answer by CarolynBarnett at 3:19 PM on Jul. 9, 2009

  • stop coddling him.

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:31 PM on Jul. 9, 2009

  • I don't think it's coddling to care that he gets upset when his mom leaves. It's called the love of a mother. However, it is an issue that should be taken care of. What I did with my daughter is to leave for short periods of time leaving her with someone she knew. After three or four times of me leaving and coming back she got that I was not leaving for good. She still got upset when I left her at daycare but not near as upset as before! Good luck!

    Answer by CeeJay30 at 4:37 PM on Jul. 9, 2009

  • My doctor told me to play peek-a-boo! Like hide around the corner and pop your head out and make him laugh. She said if you do it often enough he will start to understand that you always come back.

    Answer by MommyKKay at 5:19 PM on Jul. 9, 2009

  • The only thing that kills separation anxiety is more separation to me. My personal opinion.

    Answer by milmiracle at 5:31 PM on Jul. 9, 2009

  • I have a baby that turned 1 in June and she has been getting progressively worse about this. I don't bf so don't let people tell you that's the issue, it's not. Anyway, I've figured out that when I make it short and sweet and keep on walking, she gets over it really quickly. This is the same with putting her to bed. If I linger for even a second, she spends the next however long screaming. If I plop her down and say Love you and walk right out the door she usually gives one waaah and is done as soon as I cross the door way.
    The peekaboo is a good idea because it teaches object permanence, as in mommy still exists even when I can't see her. But, most babies have learned that by this age so I don't know that it will help.

    Answer by Debbie062008 at 5:33 PM on Jul. 9, 2009