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molesting a child

my brother and I were molested as kids till we were young adults it really tore us up and we still have problems to this day but we are learning how to deal with this. However my brother called me this morning and said his daughter accused him of molesting her,this is something my brother would NEVER do we both know the consequences that follow when you do that to a child,and thought of it is disgusting even someone attempting to do that should be shot. He is scared to take a lie detector test because of the way they ask the questions like for instance,have you ever touched your daughters breast,well yea when i bathed my child even I have touched my daughters breast or chest. I dont know what to do to help my brother. his daughter is upset cause she has to babysit and have responsibilites,and he wont let her hang out with boys,her mother is a major party mom and will let her girl do whatever she wants,its now led up to this..

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 3:11 PM on Jul. 9, 2009 in General Parenting

Answers (24)
  • This may sound silly but the only thing that I know will help is pray to God for help and he will help
    looovemybabies

    Answer by looovemybabies at 3:18 PM on Jul. 9, 2009

  • How old is his daughter? And is he still together with his wife? Did she call the cops and all that?
    gramsmom

    Answer by gramsmom at 3:19 PM on Jul. 9, 2009

  • All i can say is WOW! and best of luck hope everything turns out ok
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:19 PM on Jul. 9, 2009

  • How old is she? She must have got the idea from somewhere. Im not saying your brother did anything, because anyones whos been through something like that personally would never put anyone else through the same thing, especially not his own daughter. Why would he need to take a lie detector test? Is the daughter old enough to press charges, or is the mother considering it? The only thing i can think of is that sadly someone did molest her, shes probably too scared to say who really did it, because you're always threatened with something if you tell. It sounds kind of strange but she may be reaching out to her father by accusing him of being the one who molested her. Maybe she feels like it will push him to punish the person who is responisible for it to try and clear his name. At this point the best thing anyone can do is just talk to her and try and make sense of all this, maybe she'll crack and tell the truth. Good luck.
    holly082290

    Answer by holly082290 at 3:21 PM on Jul. 9, 2009

  • You might not like what I have to say....but I'm gonna say it. I too was molested and raped repeatedly by a family member. I finally escaped. I have never ever hurt a child. However, when my daughter came to me and told me that that had happened to her as well....there is absolutely no reason not to believe her. A child does not have a sexual history databank from which to pull up this type of information. I personally would ALWAYS side on the side of the child that has been hurt, no matter who they say has done it and how they are related to me. You will have to believe me on this one, because it was one of my daughter's older brothers (my son) and I had no choice but to take it very seriously. One more tiny comment.....an innocent person is not afraid of a lie detector test. An innocent person looks forward to the lie detector test that will clear their name.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:21 PM on Jul. 9, 2009

  • Honestly since you've been through it why wouldn't you believe HER over HIM?! Seriously what if she is telling the truth and for someone who has been through it and you don't believe her how do you think she is going to feel?! I had the same thing as a child and didn't tell my mom until 10 years later and she still talks to the guy, she cried with me then brushed it off! My best friend told her mom that her brother touched her and she didn't believe her so she killed herself!! Do you want that to happen to your niece?! What if your brother is so messed up that he truly did it, and your believing him over her?! Why would she say something so nasty and hurtful for NO REASON?! NO women wants to say she's been touched if she hasn't, that is discusting and disturbing she wouldn't do that unless something is completely out of the loop with her. I think you need to believe her and take her to a councelor or something.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:27 PM on Jul. 9, 2009

  • My brother was accused of something he didn't do and gladly took a lie detector test as soon as he could. He passed with flying colors. I understand why you believe your brother, but the fact that he doesn't want to take the test makes me wonder.


    My brother's lawyer was the one who arranged the lie detector. They ask very specific questions to avoid the situation you described above.  Encourage him to take the test. 

    MAUREEN55

    Answer by MAUREEN55 at 3:34 PM on Jul. 9, 2009

  • men who go through this honestly tend to do unto others
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:34 PM on Jul. 9, 2009

  • OK she said that her brother's daughter was rebelling because she did not want to be responsible. If she is old enough to be babysitting she is old enough to make up stories too. I am not saying it is not true, but I do know that teenagers can be cruel when they don't get what they want when they want it!

    To the OP I hope and pray that the truth comes out which ever way it is! Maybe you can talk to your niece about the ramifications of making these types of accusations. Stay CALM with her. Maybe a responsible woman's perspective would help her....good luck!
    Rebecca727

    Answer by Rebecca727 at 3:41 PM on Jul. 9, 2009

  • I just got off the phone with my brother he is heading over to take the test... I also spoke with the detective that has spoke to my brother and they said " you sister in law has called and said that we are leaving threats on her voicemail and through her email! GUESS WHAT we dont have her number or her email or anything else she is lieing through her teeth.. You know what I LOVE KARMA cause it hurts people right back that tried to hurt others...
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:48 PM on Jul. 9, 2009

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