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It is time for her to worry less about what Shellie wants and more about what Matt needs

My nephew said this to me today, about his mother, my sister. He seems to think that her wants are more important than his needs, as far as she is concerned. I can see his perspective, and he refuses to talk to her about this. What can I say to him to help him understand that she is doing her best?


Asked by Anonymous at 3:56 PM on Jul. 9, 2009 in Tweens (9-12)

This question is closed.
Answers (5)
  • i'd just be there for both of them. my daughter tried the sympathy thing to my mom. well i had my mom come stay with me for a few days and then she got to see for herself that things were quite different and in fact my daughter is really very selfish and demanding. has been like that since she was born. so now that i have 2 other kids she is unhappy she has to share anything. well tough!! if your nephew has his necessary needs met than MAYBE THE NEEDS HE IS TALKING ABOUT IS EMOTIONAL. MAYBE HIS MOM IS NOT VERY AFFECTIONATE. that is where you can step in and be there for him. take him out to lunch, invite him over for pizza and movie night. anything!! that way his mom gets some space and he gets some loving attention. hope this helps. good luck and best wishes.

    Answer by lunarlady at 3:08 AM on Jul. 12, 2009

  • How old are these people and what are you asking?

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:11 PM on Jul. 9, 2009

  • I guess the real question is do you really think she is doing her best or is the nephew being over demanding, spoiled or a drama king? What 'needs' of his are not met? Does he have clothes, a place to sleep, food? Does he believe an XBOX 360 is a 'need'. Which ever it is these two need to learn to commiunicate. If his concerns are valid ask him if he felt comfortable writing his Mom a letter about how he feels. Encourage him not to make accusations and to start sentences whith "I feel, I think, I believe...

    Answer by GrnEyedGrandma at 4:35 PM on Jul. 9, 2009

  • Best you can do is just be there for him and listen to him. I have a neighbor girl going through the same thing with her mother. I see both sides and she does make some valid points. But the best you can do as I said before is just be there for him.

    Answer by Starfire73 at 5:49 PM on Jul. 9, 2009

  • It's hard talking to 'Mom' about stuff. My mother was very selfish when I was in my tweens - seriously, it was ALL about her. She was a huge hypocrite and liar(I say WAS because she isn't anymore) to her husband, my stepdad and expected me to lie too. When I didn't, I almost got slapped. Let's just say I would have never forgiven her if she had done it. Thankfully she didn't.
    What I'm trying to say is that I, too, have a selfish mother. It's hard to talk to my mom about it because she always has an excuse for everything. Her own little justifications about stuff.

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:04 AM on Jul. 10, 2009