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Would you go through your child's room or read his/her journal or diary? Under what circumstances?

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looselylucid

Asked by looselylucid at 6:23 PM on Jul. 9, 2009 in General Parenting

Level 5 (72 Credits)
Answers (22)
  • If my child was going threw some problems and wouldnt talk to me and I was worried about them! But I hope that doesnt happen, and that my child always feels like he could come to me!
    mrsmamaj

    Answer by mrsmamaj at 6:27 PM on Jul. 9, 2009

  • I can say yes I have, my oldest DD was going through a rough time, she was depressed, cryed very easy, always sad etc...I did read her journal to make sure she was not thinking of killing herself. She was being seen by a pcysh and wanted to put her on antidepresants but she refused, we did put her on the pill to level out her hormones and she has been fine ever since. It has been 4 years and she no longer takes the pill and she is a normal 17 year old. I dont have to read her things anymore b/c she comes to me with any issues she is having.
    midnightmoma

    Answer by midnightmoma at 6:29 PM on Jul. 9, 2009

  • if he gave me a reson not to trust him
    looovemybabies

    Answer by looovemybabies at 6:30 PM on Jul. 9, 2009

  • No way! My mom did this to me for no reason and that is how she found out that i got raped. I did just fine dealing with it myself and then she went snooping through my stuff and things got alot worse for me. I became depressed and tried to commit suicide 3 times because i didnt want anyone to know about it. And noone did till that day. And my mom couldnt keep her mouth shut about it. She told everyone! I couldnt sit in a room with my family because they would all bring it up. And she even told all of her friends and some of mine! I will NEVER do that to my child.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 6:30 PM on Jul. 9, 2009

  • NO - what an ivasion of privacy.

    What I plan on doing when my girls are older is starting a Mother/Daughter Journal. If there is something they need to talk about but are scared or nervous they will be able to write it in there; and I can then write back to them. I feel having some alone time for them to decide how they want to talk to you and get their feelings out without you staring them down will help them to open up easier.

    If they don't take to that or there is an issue that really must be handled then we will have to have a family discussion where you can not leave until something is resolved.

    But no I would never consider going into their rooms and reading their private thoughts - how would you feel if they snuck into your room and read yours? (not that I keep one but ykwim).

    I strongly feel you must lead by example; want them to respect you, you must respect them...

    but that's just me...
    beachmamaof2

    Answer by beachmamaof2 at 6:33 PM on Jul. 9, 2009

  • I plan on doing it... but discreetly and not in a humiliating way. I want to be on top of things... and weed out the bad influences. I am not ashamed.... for me it feels like a necessary way to keep up with my kids changing world, friends, behavior, etc
    hibbingmom

    Answer by hibbingmom at 6:36 PM on Jul. 9, 2009

  • It depends. If i think they might be on drugs,having unprotected sex or doing something that could endanger them.
    KRISTAL_WILDER

    Answer by KRISTAL_WILDER at 6:42 PM on Jul. 9, 2009

  • Yes, yes, yes! First of all, I am a stepmom, and SD doesn't share a lot of things with her dad or I. This is a way that I can find out what she feels and thinks about things that she won't necessarily talk about at the moment. Sure, I wish she would be more open with us sometimes, but at 12 years old, she doesn't always want to talk to the parents about everything. I tried the Mother/Daughter journal, but she didn't want to do it. In my situation, it makes sense so I don't feel guilty about it at all. Anon at 6:30, that sucks your mom didn't know how to keep quiet. However, if my baby got raped, you better as heck believe I would want to know about it, even if my baby didn't want me to know. Sometimes privacy is dangerous to the individual.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 6:59 PM on Jul. 9, 2009

  • No,I wouldn't ,not unless I had a reason to believe my child was in danger. I have raised 5 daughters successfully,without searching their rooms or going through their papers, I trusted them as kids and they trusted me as their mother. Once again, if,you think your child is in trouble,why sneak in her room,just ask her,she may say everything is okay,but,she may surprise you and tell you some things.

    lady-t3984

    Answer by lady-t3984 at 7:07 PM on Jul. 9, 2009

  • I'm going with the assumption that many of you feel doing so would be in the best interests of your child. But think about the trust issues you are causing....
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 7:07 PM on Jul. 9, 2009

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