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How Can I finally, peacefully and truthfully let "it go?'

My cousin who i have always been close to, she's been like a younger sister, has relapsed into drugs again. She recently "borrowed" my car which had my purse in the bottom of a big book bag in the back seat. She was only supposed to be gone 20 minutes only and did not return for three hours! She came back wiihout and explanation or even an apology. When I got home, I discovered, my wallet with my last two driver's licenses, -including invalid old ones were missing, checks were gone out of the checkbook, ATM cards and two credit cards ALL gone. I called my bank and the credit card companies. My husband was in the hospital at the time, just two days prior having had a very major surgery...I talked with a couple I respect deeply as I did not want to call the police....firstly, I was afraid of what she would do if she knew I had called the police-when she is "using" she is quite violent and unpredictable...and I wanted to give her an opportunity to "Come to her senses and come to me.

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Asked by amoonstar at 10:16 AM on Jun. 22, 2008 in Relationships

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Answers (4)
  • A good place for someone who is using and gets violent is in a rehab facility or jail, not out on the streets. Call the police and get her locked up, and get restitution for your losses.

    Answer by halfpint_ny at 11:12 AM on Jun. 22, 2008

  • You should definately call the police and have charges pressed. She did this to you because she didn't think you would report her. Send her a message you will not be taken advantage of. Don't feel guilty because if she is on drugs she is not your cousin, the girl you love any more. She is an addict. A stranger. Someone you are not responsible for. Hopefully she will get sober and become the cousin you love once again.

    Answer by Eliza34 at 12:40 PM on Jun. 22, 2008

  • While an addict is using, nothing else matters but that drug, and how and where to get more. You are merely a tool in her using. You have stopped the chances of her getting any money from your accounts, and trust me, she will be angry when she knows you know, and that you cut off her victory over you. Calling the police when it is family is hard, and while I don't want to tell you what is right or wrong, it may cause you more heartache. If she used your cards and checks, and you have to recoup losses, then I say yes, press charges, but if she got nothing, then the police choice is yours and yours alone.
    Relapse is a constant threat when you love someone with addiction issues. It is up to you how long you let her abuse you, she is not herself while using. She is the drug. Don't let her borrow anything, and cut yourself off. You don't have to let her keep on abusing you while she abuses herself.

    Answer by Raadendryk at 3:20 PM on Jun. 23, 2008

  • OMG!! You are dealing with a terrible disease and the one true thing I know is the people who love you the most will not watch you kill yourself. "Put her in a box with a bow and let her go you will be helping her to reach her bottom.
    I know it will hurt but it hurts now and you must end your relationship will she is using drugs know no boundries, nor do addicts. Good luck.

    Answer by rosetoes at 11:08 PM on Jun. 23, 2008

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