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OK, I AM THE PARENT, I AM THE BOSS, BUT TELL ME THIS

WHAT DO YOU DO IF, YOU DID EVERYTHING, AND YOUR KID STILL DOES NOT COME HOME, OR LISTEN TO ANY OF YOUR RULES? AND YES I CALLED THE POLICE? BESIDES BEATING THEIR ASS!! THIS IS DISRUPTING MY WHOLE HOUSE, AND I DON'T KNOW HOW I SCREWED UP, BUT BE KIND AND TELL ME HOW TO FIX IT. PEOPLE SAY SHE NEEDS MY TIME, WELL HOW CAN I GIVE HER IT, IF I AM SO AGGRAVATED BY THE WAY SHE IS ACTING, HOW DO I HANDLE THIS, WE SUPPOSE TO HAVE ME TIME SATURDAY, NOW WHAT?

Answer Question
 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 10:47 AM on Jul. 10, 2009 in Teens (13-17)

Answers (17)
  • If she doesn't want to follow the house rules, she doesn't need to live in the house.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:52 AM on Jul. 10, 2009

  • Send them off to reform school or boot camp. If my son ever went out and didn't come home without letting me know what he was doing or where he was at, you can bet he'd be on the next bus to boot camp to straighten his ass out. Yes its true the teenage years are hard and that they are going to be rude and disrespectful at times, but at least in my opinon, doing what your teen did is crossing the line, and once they cross that line, they'll do it again. Nip it in the bud.
    Ash9724

    Answer by Ash9724 at 10:52 AM on Jul. 10, 2009

  • Strip her of every little extra thing she has . . . car, cell phone, phone . . . take anything that is extra away and tell her as long as she isn't following the rules then it is all gone. That she will have to earn it back. And you could go as far as taking everything out of her bedroom besides a mattress and her clothes. Time to get her attention. And the second thing I would do is call a therapist and have the two of you go. Maybe a family therapist can give you guys some tools to communicate and figure out what is going on in her head.

    TessLouise

    Answer by TessLouise at 11:03 AM on Jul. 10, 2009

  • I don't have a teenager but I was one. Short of kicking her out or going to reform school there is 1 thing that you can do. It will piss her off and will be hard on you but it may work. Do not let her out of your sight. If she is sneaking out sleep in her room or have her sleep in yours. If she is skipping school go to school with her. I mean sit in the classes with her if you have to. If you have to go anywhere take her with you or if you're married have her stay with your husband. Take the door to her room off the hinges. Make it where the bathroom door can't lock, and tell her that the only person that will walk in is you, so if she is spending more time than you think she should be in there you will come in. Basically go back to what it was like when she was 3 years old. I had a friend in high school that was getting arrested and acting out real bad. Her mom did this and she stopped quickly. She did real good after, too.
    TeriMelisa

    Answer by TeriMelisa at 11:04 AM on Jul. 10, 2009

  • OK, YOU WOULD DO THAT, BUT I CAN'T KICK MY DAUGHTER OUT.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:05 AM on Jul. 10, 2009

  • The best advice is going to come from moms of teens or moms who have raised teens. THe reform school or boot camp answers are not helpful. Okay, it sounds like this is out of control. How old is this child? Is she old enough to be NOT coming home? Meaning is she under 18? I would create a list of things that you expect from her. They can be the simplest of tasks to the most difficult. Then you need to create consequences. In this situation, I think appropriate consequences are not paying for ANY of her extra cirricular things, such as cell phone, nails, hair, car, gas. Then she needs to understand that your home is YOUR home and I would have no problem taking her door, her furniture, her clothes, everything she owns. Leave her a few outfits and a mattress on the floor. This is not a time for patty cake threats or inconsistency. If you dont feel that getting mean and tough will help, then couseling might be in order.
    momofsaee

    Answer by momofsaee at 11:08 AM on Jul. 10, 2009

  • Also in getting tough on her behavior, you also need to make yourself available for her to talk to. I know she might be pissed at you, but make sure you come across that this is for her best interest.. You love her and it pains you to see her going down such horrible paths. This is not because you want to punish her, this is because you want her to see the err of her ways. My teen went through a really rough patch back in the fall and she had some indescretions that she came clean tom e about. I was angry, hurt, felt betrayed..all of the emotions. I not only punished her, but before I did that, I sat with her, repented for not giving her the time and attention she needed and vowed to be a better parent. We hugged, we prayed, we cried....then I layed the law down. Her rules were harsh but I had already convinced her that I loved her and I wanted her safe with me. She accepted her punishment and I havent had ONE problem since.
    momofsaee

    Answer by momofsaee at 11:13 AM on Jul. 10, 2009

  • beating her ass is out, imo. It will do nothing but drive her away and give her an excuse to go. She could even report you to cps if she wanted to but let's try something simple first. Ask her why she thinks she behaves like she does then ask her what SHE would do if she were the mom?
    admckenzie

    Answer by admckenzie at 12:32 PM on Jul. 10, 2009

  • We need more details.

    How old is she?
    What exactly is she doing?
    What rules have been broken?
    Is she endangering herself?
    Is she still in school?
    Etc.
    Mousuke

    Answer by Mousuke at 1:39 PM on Jul. 10, 2009

  • wow my daughter is the same way im at a loss also
    miamimom2

    Answer by miamimom2 at 1:43 PM on Jul. 10, 2009

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