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womens opinon

you see i can be a real bitch sometimes but who cant be ecspecially with so many changes going on in ones life sometimes i dont realize the tones in my voice and i might come off as standoffish what i mean is aggitated sounding when im not . My husband and me fight sometimes how can i just try not to make him mad because he gets mad at me alot and says things like he himself wishes he was gone and i dont want that and it hurts me to hear him say such things because i need him around for the baby and me and i love him so much how do i fix things ?

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Asked by rainingglass101 at 12:54 PM on Jul. 10, 2009 in General Parenting

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Answers (6)
  • I'd start by apologizing and telling him how much you need him and appreciate him and that you'll try and be better. And then really try.

    Answer by gramsmom at 12:58 PM on Jul. 10, 2009

  • You are obviously aware of how you are perceived, so next time you want to fight, don't! Pick your battles! Concede on the unimportant issues. You can't fight about EVERYTHING! Try TALKING calmly instead! And if you can't discuss things rationally, then wait until you can! Find a time when your child is sleeping. Turn off the TV or any distractions. Sit in a comfortable place, and just TALK.

    My husband and I have an agreement to not argue IMPULSIVELY because in the heat of the moment things are often said that you don;t really mean--it's better to say that you don't want to discuss things right now, and need time to cool off and gather your thoughts.

    The more you scream, insult, or demean your husband, the more you will alienate him, and make him resent you more.

    Sometimes writing down the key points you want to make will help facilitate an actual discussion, and in the end sway the argument in your favor! :o)

    Answer by LoriKeet at 1:06 PM on Jul. 10, 2009

  • take a breather before you are mean to him... esp if it is no reason and u think your hormones are the issue. I totally understand. De apologize too him and talk to him about how your feeling... see how he feels. Leave him little surprise notes on how much he means to you. Be his friend.

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:07 PM on Jul. 10, 2009

  • ditto gramsmom. well said!

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:47 PM on Jul. 10, 2009

  • a couples' counselor can help you both learn to communitcate effectively.

    Answer by rkoloms at 2:23 PM on Jul. 10, 2009

  • I have learned my lesson by a failed marriage. Now I have a wonderful man and I learned to just keep my mouth shut and choose my battles. I figure it doesn't matter weather you squeeze the toothpaste from the bottom or in the middle. My DH and I never fight. We may have disagreements but its OK to agree to disagree. Choose your battles honey and all will be good.

    Answer by dillonsma at 3:27 PM on Jul. 10, 2009

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