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Personal question..........

Ok....I HATE giving my husband oral sex! He of course LOVES it. I didn't used to mind doing it when we were teenagers and childless, but just grosses me out and I have no desire whatsoever to do it anymore. This is a BIG issue between us though. He says that is how a woman shows her love, and has even threatened divorce! I don't know what to do.....I can't believe it is such a big deal but it really is. We are still VERY active in the bedroom (like 5x a week usually) but he is not satisfied without getting the you know what! What am I supposed to do?

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 3:35 PM on Jul. 10, 2009 in Relationships

Answers (10)
  • Figure out the reasons you've suddenly changed your mind. Is he not being hygienic enough? Do you just not like the taste any more? If that's the case, they have products out there to make it taste better.

    But if it's that big of a deal to him, he needs to get a freaking grip on himself. Oral sex is NOT the way a woman shows her love. We show our love by what we do for him and our children. He's trying to hold it over you with playing the divorce card. If him not getting head is the biggest problem in your marriage, then he needs to get his priorities straight. And you need to tell him that. If he can't be respectful of what you are willing to do, and what you are not willing to do, he needs a good punch in the balls.

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:41 PM on Jul. 10, 2009

  • Does he give you satisfactory oral sex??? Tell him that it is a two way street. If he IS giving you great oral sex then you should return the favor.

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:42 PM on Jul. 10, 2009

  • First of all, if he is threatening to divorce you over this than that is a HUGE red flag that something isn't right. Sex is important in a marriage yes, but its not like you aren't doing ANYTHING sexual with him at all! If my fiance threatened to end things with me because I wouldn't give him oral I would be like okay go for it! I just find that very odd that he would say that. It makes me feel like there is something else going on. If you feel uncomfortable doing it than he should respect that and not put you down for it. I think you guys need to have a serious talk about this. He sounds like an asshole, in my opinion, that he would A. get so upset over you not doing something that you just don't enjoy doing or feel comfortable doing, and B. that he would actually threaten to divorce you over it.

    Answer by Ash9724 at 3:48 PM on Jul. 10, 2009

  • Can you at least make a deal with him - like he gets it on special days (his birthday, Christmas, etc) so he knows there is at least a time when he IS going to get it? If he really likes it, I would do it simply because I know there may be things he does for me that he doesn't especially like. But it shouldn't be a marriage breaker.

    Answer by missanc at 4:05 PM on Jul. 10, 2009

  • I know exactly how you feel! I do not like to give or receive oral sex personally. I told my husband I would give him oral sex if he would do things for me like help clean, start projects and actually finish them, and do what he says he's going to do. So far, he has had zero bjs LoL....if he wants it that bad, then what is he doing for you? I would ask him that. You are not receiving any pleasure from the act and if he really wants it, then he's gotta do something selfless for you in return. I would bargain with him.

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:12 PM on Jul. 10, 2009

  • if you don't do it then he'll find someone else who will

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:16 PM on Jul. 10, 2009

  • Have you tried it as part of foreplay? He gets to see that your willing to do what it takes to make him happy, and you don't have to finish. I don't like it, either, but I will do this occasionally.

    Answer by Anonymous at 5:19 PM on Jul. 10, 2009

  • You shouldn't have to do something that makes you uncomfortable. If he cheats because of this then he isn't much of a man. Threatening divorce is ridiculous as well as his idea of how a woman shows love. Compromise is part of marriage but that does not mean you should be forced to do something that makes you sick. Using manipulation and ultamtums is low and petty. Other posters are right he really needs to reprioritize what is important!


    Answer by Anonymous at 5:31 PM on Jul. 10, 2009

  • A woman does not show love by doing this. He is saying that just to get you to comply. And if he is threatening divorce I would wonder where HIS love is.

    Answer by Anonymous at 7:20 PM on Jul. 10, 2009

  • Actually, oral sex is illegal. You can bring up that point. I'm dating a police officer. One night, I was bored and was reading one of his books and it's really in there. I do give my boyfriend oral alot, but I never get him to cum from it, so that way he has to satisfy me. ( I always stop right before he cums.) What you could also do is try it again, but don't do it so it feels good at all.

    Answer by mommyoftwins903 at 9:43 PM on Jul. 10, 2009

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