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My teen just told me he never wanted to talk to me again.

I am trying to be a good mom, and raise a good boy. Sometimes WOW! I told him no he could not go to a party because he was 15 and it was not appropriate venue for a 15 yr old. He has continued bugging me all day. I then told him "I was not going to discuss it any more and if he brought it up again I would take his computer away for a week, now go do you chores" He then told me what if I took my computer and walked out the door. I then said " I would miss you" . He then said that he would prefer if he never spoke to me again. I then said " I would miss talking to you". I am so upset I just want to give in but I know I cant. I am just venting. Thanks to all that read this. Thoughts?

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Asked by dillonsma at 5:15 PM on Jul. 10, 2009 in Teens (13-17)

Level 5 (81 Credits)
Answers (9)
  • nope, if you give in now you lose credibility. Mean what you say and say what you mean. It's important he know you will stick to your guns. It's not like he'll never speak to you again. My dd did that at age 15 and hated me for about 4 days then she wanted something else I could compromise on so she forgave me.

    Answer by admckenzie at 5:17 PM on Jul. 10, 2009

  • Hang strong, he will get over it it is for the best any way, he will want something else sooner or later and do something to get back in good graces.

    Answer by NicholeAT at 5:18 PM on Jul. 10, 2009

  • Welcome to the form of manipulation used by teens called let's pull at the heart strings. I said some messed up stuff to my mom when I didn't get my way. I'm sure it hurt but I'm proud of her now for sticking to her guns!

    Answer by Steff107 at 5:32 PM on Jul. 10, 2009

  • UPDATE Now he just wrote me a note and told me this is the only thing he feels accepted at and because he cant go so "I am laying here contemplating suicide". I know in my heart he is not going to do that because he likes himself to much. WOW Manipulation at its best. He then came up to me and asked me if I read it and said yep and kept working in my garden. Ge is now on the computer. Hmmm. Did he think I would jump and say OK you can go???

    Answer by dillonsma at 5:41 PM on Jul. 10, 2009

  • Stay strong!! My manipulative teen once told me that she was suicidal. She said this because she had talked dirty to a boy and then when she got alone with him he tried to do what she had promised. She knew she would get in trouble for being with him (she was on a sleepover and wasn't supposed to be hanging out with the guys at night), so she made up this story. Her method of suicide? She was going to throw herself down the stairs. Now keep in mind that we have about 8 stairs, then a landing, then you turn and 8 more stairs. The worst she would have done was mess up her hair or break a nail. Then her next method was going to be to hold her breath till she died. I can't tell you how hard it was not to crack up laughing at her. They will try anything to make you give in! You're doing great!!!!

    DISCLAIMER: Obviously some teens are serious about suicide and need to be taken very serious.

    Answer by Littlebit722 at 6:32 PM on Jul. 10, 2009

  • Well, I pulled a stunt liek that once. Yes, once. I came home from that party (which ended up being crappy anyways, so totally not worth it.) and discovered my mom sitting on my bed, and my room? EMPTY. Yes, she cleaned out the whole thing. She was like "If you can't respect my choices for you, then you don't deserve the nice things myself and others have gotten for you." She left my bed and enough clothing for 3 days. I had to live like that until my report card ... 3 months later. Yea, didn't pull that again.
    Maybe removing things that he takes for granted, along with explaining to him WHY he can't go, it might hit home better. Growing up I always wanted to know why I couldn't go and after talking it out about who's going, and how late I could be out, I could usually go for a few hours.
    Just sit and talk with him.. both of you deserve to be on the same page.

    Answer by DesignerMom0801 at 9:59 PM on Jul. 10, 2009

  • Wait, he will talk to you when he needs something. I would definately take, not only his computer, but EVERYTHING out of his room but his mattress, blanket and pillow. NO clothes, dresser, etc. He would be earning everything back, item by item and each time he messed up I would take something back out. He needs to learn to respect you or pay the consequences.

    Answer by tyfry7496 at 10:44 PM on Jul. 10, 2009

  • i agree with tyfry7496 the party will come and go and when he wants something he wil be your best friend again you stay strong it wont be the last time he makes a threat to get what he wants. my son told me he hated me once and i told him yes i knew that because you dont treat someone you love the way he was treating me, he left for school and came home and told me he was sorry and he did love me that was the end of his rebellion stage i guess what i said really made him feel bad all day i got lucky with that one. he is 18 know trust me the rebellion stage does end one day but know i have a dd that just turned 13 so it starts all over again you just have to stick to what you say good luck i know im gonna need it ive heard girls r worse than boys we will see

    Answer by sdeignan at 6:01 PM on Jul. 12, 2009

  • I have 5 kids ages 27 to 14. 4 sons and 1 daughter, I have been ignored, told I am hated, been given the "evil eye" and I'm sure secretly wished I would drop dead at any minute. They get over it, they realize you love them with your whole heart, and secretly they know they're in the wrong. It is always a battle of wills, wits, and patience. I now have 3 grandchildren, a wonderful son-in-law and 2 great daughter-in-laws. We are a loud, crazy and loving family. Hang in there it really does get better. As a side note: girls are worse.

    Answer by drgnfly8264 at 8:20 PM on Jul. 13, 2009

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