Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

first time suspension....

my son is 9 and got suspended for the first time. i don't know an appropriate punishment. when he is disrespectful to me or does something else wrong he loses all toys-tv-games-ect and has to stay in his room...and really he doesn't care anymore because that happens so much so now that this has happened i'm clueless on how to punish him.

Answer Question

Asked by cleo2582 at 7:08 PM on Jul. 10, 2009 in Tweens (9-12)

Level 7 (183 Credits)
Answers (12)
  • I'm sorry I don't have any advice, I am in the same situation as you just know that you are not alone lol. I'll keep reading your posts to get some advice as well.

    Answer by Anonymous at 7:12 PM on Jul. 10, 2009

  • I would do this:
    Rule out medical causes for the behavior first-look at diet, anxiety, the whole thing. Find a pediatrician you trust for a referral (not that I think all behaviors are medical, I just feel bad when we find out years later it was medical!)
    Study your life- too much time out of the house? Too full of a schedule? or the opposite- not enough outside activities or interests- too much video time. Is there family stress? Can you talk with your child about it,ect...
    If you see something above that rings a bell, take care of it, communicate with the school what is going on and the give it some time to work! I see parents jump for remedy to remedy like it should improve overnight!
    Look at your school district- do they have alternative education? We have Montessori, Charter, Outward Bound, ect.. here in Colorado. Is maybe homeschooling or online school a good option
    cont below

    Answer by teampalmer4 at 7:18 PM on Jul. 10, 2009

  • I would also look at some parenting books- all situations are different but you may find some strategies that will help. I like "Love and Logic" I do not follow it completely, but there was a lot in there that fit my style of parenting and my kids personalities!

    Good luck to you and please do not give up on your child!

    Answer by teampalmer4 at 7:20 PM on Jul. 10, 2009

  • If he's not in school he can work. I would have him clean up the yard, dust, vacuum, rearrange DVD's in alphabetical order..what ever you can come up with. He has a choice, be in school, behave and get t be with his friends working and socializing or get in trouble stay home and work with out the fun stuff in between.

    Answer by But_Mommie at 7:52 PM on Jul. 10, 2009

  • But Mommie is a Love and Logic Mommy even if she has never read the book. If you like her reasoning, you may like the book as well!

    Answer by teampalmer4 at 8:21 PM on Jul. 10, 2009

  • It depends on why he was suspended. My son has never been suspended. He did get detention a few times for not doing homework, but that was all the punishment he received. He did wrong in school and I let them discipline him. I did lecture him and he hates that a lot. You can have him copy dictionary pages, write a letter of apology, or write sentences.

    Answer by tyfry7496 at 10:37 PM on Jul. 10, 2009

  • "To Train Up a Child" by Michael and Debi Pearl If he is being disrespectful, you've got problems! My children got a good spanking for that! They are expected to say, "Yes/No, Ma'am," and "Yes/No, Sir", from the time they can speak a full sentence. Time for some high expectations with dire consequences that mean something to him.

    Answer by singnstitch at 11:12 PM on Jul. 10, 2009

  • My son was suspended for half a day for fighting I didn't punish him(cause it was with bully that picked on him for 3 yrs, my son finally stood  up for self.) It just depends on what it was... What works for my boy is he cant see friend or go anywhere... One time he lied to teacher, I made him wright a apology note, and had him read it out loud to teacher was ( he was in 3rd grade when lied to teacher... 5th grade when he was supended)


    Answer by twistedcandy at 9:31 AM on Jul. 11, 2009

  • I would just ask him what happend ...each story has a side of which to tell , I know my nephew is only 10 yr's old, they THREW him out of school not just a suspension but expelled for this whole school year for playing cards with other friends during lunch hour, He was the only one that got this ruleing, his mother my sister did not care ... So whenever he does wrong..he knows he will get away with it, Set limits for your child, rules and regulations,


    Answer by LexsiesMommy at 12:57 PM on Jul. 11, 2009

  • I'm with But Mommie....when my son was suspended (around the same age actually), he was doing all sorts of jobs around the house. He wasn't too keen on it and it did not happen again. He organized closets, he pulled weeds, he cleaned baseboards, etc.

    Answer by lucindamartinez at 4:22 PM on Jul. 11, 2009

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.