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was anyone else blinded that their life sucked until they got pregnant????

i was blinded to the fact that my husband and i live in a very crappy situation, he is beyond childish with no common sense for responsibility, we survive off of family paying for everything (including rent, food, clothes, transportation, etc) ......... i didn't realize it was this bad at all, until i got pregnant! now i am almost in my 3rd trimester wondering how i could have possibly f***ed up this badly!! i cant just give the baby up because both of our families would basically disown us for that type of decision, its just all of a sudden i am scared shitless! did anyone else not realize how bad things were until they were already pregnant?? what did you do?? how the hell did you cope with figuring it all out??

 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 9:59 PM on Jul. 10, 2009 in Pregnancy

This question is closed.
Answers (7)
  • Right after I found out I was pregnant, my DH lost his job, and I had just gotten laid off 4 months prior. We were terrified! But it all worked out, even though we are having to postpone moving into a house of our own for a year. Pregnancy makes everything look bigger and worse than it could be, and with your situation I'd imagine I'd be in a panic as well! It won't last though, and you will find ways to make it work! Just take it one day at a time and don't stress over the things you can't change (yet)! Good luck!!
    Emuu

    Answer by Emuu at 10:22 PM on Jul. 10, 2009

  • I realized the amount of debt my fiance is in and it scared me and how we live pay check to paycheck...its scary but things are working out for us so far we can even take on viacord which is 2100.00 but when u commit u commit and u get the things u need. have ur hubby or SO get a job and start bringing in cash to help...its not good that family has to pay for ur stuff in order to survive. He needs to get a job and help out. and no dont give ur baby up. some people think its the best way to go but unless ur 100% i say dont, you'll make it work.
    Dom123123

    Answer by Dom123123 at 10:04 PM on Jul. 10, 2009

  • he wont get a job i have been on him since october about it he just sits there and says it will all work out that we have a roof over our heads, food, and can get what we need that way...like i said, he's childish with no common sense for responsibility!!
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:09 PM on Jul. 10, 2009

  • My pregnancy was unexpected and at first we had NO IDEA how we were going to do this...we are both full time collage students...but we've worked REALLY hard to budget and only buy things we absolutely need and things are starting to get a lot better. I"m due in 2 weeks and we still live paycheck to paycheck basically but all of our bills get paid on time and were doing okay. Your SO really needs to pick up some slack tho and not rely on family to pay for everything . Hopefully after the baby comes, your family will help out with babysitting so you can get a PT job or something....good luck!! I know its hard but you can do it.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:15 PM on Jul. 10, 2009

  • well one thing u may need to consider is leaving him until he can man up. natural roles of early parenthood. woman is caregiver man is provider. if he doesnt provide he needs a reality check.

    yes it is natural in any psychology book will tell u. woman is caregiver before i get any feminists on my back because we carry the baby in the womb and nurse the baby in early life father needs to step it up or step out
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:21 PM on Jul. 10, 2009

  • at least you figured it out before the baby was born. Took me till she was 5 months old and I was so STUCK that I"m still not out.. now I'm preg with another!
    kristal2146

    Answer by kristal2146 at 10:53 PM on Jul. 10, 2009

  • i knew my life sucked before i was pregnant and i was depressed about getting pregnant after words my hubby works and i've tried to find a job even pregnant no one for some reason will hire me i cant figure that out but his checks arent enough we live with my parents which is alot of help they have boughten us 2 cars so far and when things are too much for us to handle they help, they dont pay for our food or things we want or need for the most part of course they buy me things like clothes because im their child and they know i dont have the money for it, but other than that we are on food stamps wic and medicaid and it's not like my hubby hasnt tried to get a better job he has just didnt work out and school is going to happen eventually but that all takes time and money that we really dont have so yeah i understand what your going through and it's tough idk how we are going to do it but i know we will !! and i know you will2
    freshly.married

    Answer by freshly.married at 12:18 AM on Jul. 11, 2009

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