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What do ya think?

I'm now 32 weeks prego, and am totally sober, but unfortunately(sp?) I used to have a little cocaine problem & smoke(cigs) & drink heavily. I quit everything as soon as I found out I was preg, & have no problem with that. My boyfriend, however, convinced me to go to the bar with him last night "just for 1 drink", which I like to avoid, just personal preference & me being a martyr because I can't drink(Silly, I know!!)! So we go, stay for much longer than 1 drink, mind you I have to work this am, AND when we finally do get home, he ends up blowing lines RIGHT IN FRONT OF ME! I mean, I was PISSED...he told me I'm over-reacting because I got WAAAY heated & ended up sleeping on the couch. I'm SO happy I'm pregnent & can't wait to meet my lil girl, but I really view her father as 1 of the big mistakes in my life-I know, sounds absolutely horrible...& fyi, I was ON bc when I got preg, so I was being responsible! Thanks for listening

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Asked by Anonymous at 8:26 AM on Jul. 11, 2009 in Relationships

Answers (9)
  • I think your BF is a jerk that needs some help with his drug addiction. I also think that you are in a vulnerable position and it is dangerous for you to be around him right now. You are strong and I applaud you for not joining him last night.

    I wish I had some really good advice on how to get him to sober up, but its going to be totally up to him to do that for himself. Is there anywhere you can stay (friend, parent, ect)? I worry that if he gets busted, you'll go down with him and then who will take care of that baby? You don't want to give birth in jail....

    I'm so sorry that he is putting you in such a bad position! My ex was the same way, and as far as I know he still hasn't sobered up. I left him three years ago.


    Answer by VeronicaLee at 8:39 AM on Jul. 11, 2009

  • "which I like to avoid, just personal preference & me being a martyr because I can't drink(Silly, I know"

    I almost forgot.... just because you are doing what is right doesn't make you a "Martyr"! And no, it is NOT silly to want to stay away from that temptation!! You are doing the right thing by staying away from alcohol and drugs whether you are partaking in them or not!


    Answer by VeronicaLee at 8:43 AM on Jul. 11, 2009

  • You did a great job resisting temptation! I hate to soud rude or bitchy, but I would give the BF the boot. I would tell him to clean up or get out! You are obviously trying to do the right thing and he clearly is acting irresponsibly. I have to ask, what kind of guy would take his pregnant girlfiend to a bar and then snort sime lines in front of her. He needs to grow up or you need to move on. Your baby deserves better and so do you!

    Answer by etsmom at 8:45 AM on Jul. 11, 2009

  • It sounds as though he is not a decent, honorable person. Do you really want your child to grow up around him? Time to bail.

    Answer by Bmat at 9:11 AM on Jul. 11, 2009

  • Being an ex drug addict myself, I have a little piece of advice for you. It is very hard to overcome drug addiction...When you are pregnant it is very easy because you don't want to harm your baby, however, once that baby is born, it is just your body again. That is the cycle I fell into. My BF never quit when I was pregnant and it was really hard (I resisted temptation when I was pregnant) but then once the baby was born I just couldn't anymore. I relized after a little while that he just couldn't be around anymore because he was doing more harm than good. If I could quit for 9 months while I was pregnant, than I could quit for good, I just needed to cut ties with all the people in my life that did that crap. I did, and I quit for GOOD. Good luck to you. You need to do what it right for you and your baby!

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:33 AM on Jul. 11, 2009

  • I think you should part ways for a while until he cleans up his act before he tries to help with the baby and hurts her or worse gets caught with stuff in the house and she is taken away from both of you. Not to mention the money that could go for her education going up his nose. It's all up to you.

    Answer by admckenzie at 10:46 AM on Jul. 11, 2009

  • I think you should listen to the advice given by Anon :33. Good luck.

    Answer by Christina807 at 10:46 AM on Jul. 11, 2009

  • i also think you should listen to wat anon: 33 said she has first hand experience

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:13 AM on Jul. 11, 2009

  • I'm not going to tell you to leave your BF, cuz that's not my choice to make, but I defniitely think the Anon up there makes some really great points.

    I also wanted to say that I'm really impressed with the changes you've made for your child. It's hard to resist temptation, and you kicked temptation's ass. :)

    And no matter what you choose to do, it sounds like your BF has a little issue with responsibility. You're going to have to be constantly vigilent that your baby never gets into his coke.

    Answer by Avarah at 12:23 PM on Jul. 11, 2009

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