Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

Delivery Room??

Who did you have in the delivery room with you? Did your decision make anyone upset? I can only have 2 people in the room with me, and I want it to be my SO and my best friend, but my mom and my SO's mom both want to be there and will be VERY upset if I choose my friend over them. But when I think about the pain I will be in (our hospital doesnt believe in epidurals) I want the person their that im sure will help me most through the pain, which I believe is my friend. And I dont want to choose between the two moms.

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 9:42 AM on Jul. 11, 2009 in Pregnancy

Answers (12)
  • Well, if you can only have 2 people in there, and one of them would be your SO, which grandma would you choose? Either way, one of them will be hurt they aren't in there, ya know? I'd have your best friend go in because then you're not choosing between the grandmas.

    Answer by ap9902 at 9:45 AM on Jul. 11, 2009

  • Both times i had a room full of people.... with the frist it was mom, grandma, stepfather and the doctors that were there to learn...and the second time it was only hubby and the reg. docs, and like 7 students. But if you think the friend will help most then choose her. But dont worry about not having the epidural I had it with the first and I choose not to with the second I didn't really notice a difference except i was more there with the second.

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:49 AM on Jul. 11, 2009

  • I just had my husband.. I know both our mom's would want to be there in us... but my mom would make me so angry if she was there and she would be hurt if I let his mom so I chose to not have either with me. I saw them both as soon as the delivery was done anyway.. It was fine

    Answer by vsrillo at 9:56 AM on Jul. 11, 2009

  • It sounds like you are going to the wrong hospital! Even if there is only one hospital in your town, go to another town. For my first baby I went to a hospital 45 minutes away because I wanted a CNM.

    If you want an epidural it doesn't matter what the hospital thinks!

    Hospital policies like the number of people in the room might be able to be changed. You might try writing the hospital and telling them you are considering another hospital if you can't have the grandmas in the room.

    My first grandbaby was born last September and I can't imagine not having been there. I wasn't just an observer, I was an active participant. The grandmas may be devastated. Don't let the hospital take that experience away from them.

    Answer by Gailll at 10:00 AM on Jul. 11, 2009

  • As the MIL myself and realizing I have absolutely no right or even hope of being in the delivery room since naturally the woman will want her mother in there along with her husband or SO, I was touched and thrilled when the wives of both of my sons invited me to be in the delivery room at the birth. They were experiences I'll never forget, not just seeing the births of my grandchildren, but that my sons and their wives cared enough about me to include me. However, if they hadn't included me I would not have been disappointed or hurt because I understand that the MIL really doesn't need to be in there- the woman's comfort would come mostly from her husband or SO and her own mother.


    Answer by Bmat at 10:17 AM on Jul. 11, 2009

  • If you want an epidural it doesn't matter what the hospital thinks!

    Maybe she has picked a "hospital: that isn't equipted or quifilified to give epidurals??

    Here the birthing business is highly competitive (Georgia) even our small town hospital has done a renovation in the "birthing suites" to be more competitivewith the bigger hospitals. Here, you can get pretty much anything you want during your stay. They will bend over backwards to get you to deliver at their hospital, so number of visitors and such is negotiable. Personally, I "shopped around" to find the right combo of doctors and hospitals to make my births what I wanted them to be.

    Good Luck to you OP....


    Answer by VeronicaLee at 10:18 AM on Jul. 11, 2009

  • PS- while my hospital did allow anyone I wanted to be with me to stay, I decided before it was time to push that I wanted everyone out of the room anyway (except my SO) and they kicked everyone out for me. Unfortunately my birth turned into an emergency so I was whisked off to the ER shortly after they kicked every one out. I'm glad that I picked a hospital that was well equipped because I almostdied (my uterus ruptured and placenta separated early, I was going for a VBAC) and my baby went to the NICU for 8 days. If I had given birth at a hospital that couldn't handle that, who knows what would have happened.

    If your hospital is not equipped to deal with epi's then they probably can't handle an emergency situation either.


    Answer by VeronicaLee at 10:23 AM on Jul. 11, 2009

  • i think that you are making a good choice. you need people in the room that are going to help you out the most. and the way i look at it, if you chose one mom over the other, one of them is still going to be mad. i had my dh, mom, and mil in the room. no body really helped me, but i prepared myself for that.
    i recommend you read spiritual midwifery and ina may's guide to childbirth both by ina may gaskin. both will affirm your decision in having only the people that will help you the most. it will also show you some ways of managing any pain you might have in labor.

    Answer by mommytobobby at 10:27 AM on Jul. 11, 2009

  • "it will also show you some ways of managing any pain you might have in labor."

    Painless childbirth just fascinates me... none of my three births were "painless" so to watch the videos I am like "holy cow" could this be real, or are those women really drugged and just not admitting it??


    Answer by Anonymous at 10:40 AM on Jul. 11, 2009

  • For my first baby my mom and SO was there... for the second it was my mom, SO, and his mom and for this one its going to be my mom, SO, and my best friend. His mother made my delivery miserable. Def. take someone in there that you are comfortable with.

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:41 AM on Jul. 11, 2009

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.