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Would you tell your son he could hit a girl?

If a girl keeps hitting your son. and she never gets in trouble at school.. would you tell your son that if she keeps doing to hit her back?


Asked by twistedcandy at 10:19 AM on Jul. 11, 2009 in Tweens (9-12)

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Answers (51)
  • I think it's horrible that so many of you would allow your son to be beat up on just because "a boy shouldn't hit a girl". No, he shouldn't, but a girl shouldn't be hitting him either. I would never, ever tell him it was okay to hit a girl first, but if was ever being hurt, and no one would do anything about it, I would let him know that he has every right to defend himself, and that he could use as minimal force as necessary, but that he SHOULD defend himself. I would be in that school office every hour of every day until it stopped, and if they didn't want to do anything about it, I'd go higher and higher up until someone did their job. At that age especially, there is nothing more that can be done legally just because of gender if they WERE to get into a fight. I'm defintiely not one of those parents who will allow their child to be beat up just because
    "violence is wrong" .

    Answer by StefanieN84 at 1:47 PM on Jul. 11, 2009

  • threaten to press charges for harrassment or assault. A repeated offense like that needs to be stopped.

    No, your son should not be told he can hit her, because if she presses charges against him he could get in serious trouble. (It's unfortunate, but there is definately a gender bias in the "system")

    Answer by BisketLiss at 10:22 AM on Jul. 11, 2009

  • No, I wouldnt. I dont ever feel its okay to hit a girl. I believe its fundamental in raising our boys to be respectful of women regardless of how badly they act. I would go into the school and deal with it myself. I wouldnt leave the school until I was assured that it was handled to MY satisfaction. As the mother and as a tax paying citizen, I dont put up with crap like that at school.

    Answer by momofsaee at 10:28 AM on Jul. 11, 2009

  • No, if he hits her the fact that she hit first won't matter. There is still a double standard even at that age. Have you contacted the school? If they won't do anything call the school board.


    Answer by MAUREEN55 at 10:29 AM on Jul. 11, 2009

  • No, never... I would tell him to keep reporting it to the teachers. If it continues and the teachers do nothing to stop her, I would go in and personally attend a meeting with my child, the teacher, the principle, and the guidance counselor. I would demand that they all attend this meeting so we could address this issue properly.

    Telling him to hit her, is a bad idea! He will get in trouble both now, and in the long run...Whether she started it or not, he will be more severely punished just because he is the male. Its never OK for anyone to hit another... but we were all raised to believe its worse for a male to hit a female.



    Answer by VeronicaLee at 10:30 AM on Jul. 11, 2009

  • First I'd get one of my nieces to approach her. If that didn't work I'd have him tell her if she wants to act like a guy she's going to get treated like a guy. And I would warn the principal of the situation if it was happening in school. Then if she did it again he could do what he saw fit. Knock her on her ass or something. But I don't teach them to hit girls. They can stop a girl from hitting them but that's about it.

    Answer by Chrissy629 at 10:42 AM on Jul. 11, 2009

  • I'd talk to the parents of the little girl and make them aware of what's going on. It's possible they don't know, and if you tell them, they might do something about it. Then I'd tell the teacher that she needs to discipline the little girl whenever your son reports to her that she's hitting him. I'd tell the teacher if she doesn't do anything, you're going to the principal, and if that doesn't work go to the school superintendent. If all else fails, I'd tell my son he could defend himself. Make sure you keep records of everytime you talked to the parents, the teacher and the principal. I don't think boys should go around hitting girls, but these little bullly girls need to learn to keep their hands to themselves and not be allowed to get away with murder because they're girls. There's always a bigger bully and one day they're going to meet their match.

    Answer by Bethsunshine at 10:51 AM on Jul. 11, 2009

  • I completely agree with the first poster.

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:02 AM on Jul. 11, 2009

  • My brother was always taught not to hit girls but I think that if you hit a male more than once and you've been warned then gender doesn't matter, I don't want my son getting beat up by anyone, it doesn't matter about gender cause some girls hit just as hard as boys. So I say yes if my son has warned her that he will hit her and she continues than I would stand by him fighting back. I hate it when people say that this will cause my son to be abusive, so then your saying that little girl is going to be a husband beater, you have to look at it from both sides and sometimes gender doesn't play a role in it and you can't always be standing right there next to your kids protecting them. When I was in school there was a girl that was always picking on guys, one day she kicked a guy so hard it ruptured his testicle, nobody noticed or did anything until that little boy was seriously injured.

    Answer by Sammisweets at 11:27 AM on Jul. 11, 2009

  • nope, never. Right or wrong my boy will be a 'man'.

    Answer by Tracyrae at 11:30 AM on Jul. 11, 2009