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I'm so disapointed in my SO.

I got a check yesterday for almost $900 bucks (whoo!) I tell my SO and drop it off in our shared account and I told him not to spend too much because I wanted to use some of it to buy our daughter her brithday present (her birthday is Aug. 1st, so I kinda have to get going on that) I don't care that he spends money. .what I'm disapointed in is how MUCH he spent. He went out to a lounge yesterday after work (he works 16 hrs away from me) and drank.. and drank.. and drank. He calls me this morning and first thing he says is " I'm sorry. You're going to be so mad at me." I asked why and he told me we only have $300 LEFT of the money put in YESTERDAY. I'm fuming. I'm so upset I can't be upset...
What do I do? I mean he's away from home, so I can't really talk to him face to face. I mean I know he's sorry, BUT if it was ME who pulled stunt like that? WOW. I'd be in the dog house for avery long time.

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DesignerMom0801

Asked by DesignerMom0801 at 11:52 AM on Jul. 11, 2009 in Relationships

Level 4 (42 Credits)
Answers (15)
  • CONTINUED - I mean, if I pulld this, he would rip the skin off my nose and I would get phone calls from his mom about my spending..GERRRHHHHHHHH I'm so upset!! Everyone in our house needs new shoes and clothes, bills need to be paid, we're moving in a month, and we still need money for a U-Haul. Like f*ck!! Use your head!! OMG, the being pissed off is hitting me now...
    What do I do? I can't get that money back.
    DesignerMom0801

    Answer by DesignerMom0801 at 11:55 AM on Jul. 11, 2009

  • My husband pulled that stunt while he was in Korea. He kept doing it even after I said something. You can't let him think he can keep doing this!!

    I know you said he sounds sorry, but without being there...is he really? I'm just saying this from my experience, so don't take offense to anything I've said.
    usafwife314

    Answer by usafwife314 at 11:57 AM on Jul. 11, 2009

  • I seriously doubt he spent $600 on alcohol alone. Either way, I'd make him pay back every dime, and also find out what else he spent it on.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:58 AM on Jul. 11, 2009

  • There is nothing you CAN do. You 2 need to have a talk though hun. If he can't be financially responsible and consider his family first, I think you should get your OWN bank account. You need to talk about WHY he did that, WHY he is drinking so much and what not. (Not trying to be judgemental at all and I'm VERY sorry if this offends you in any way, it is not in any way my intention.) I'm so sorry that happened to you and your family. I hope you 2 can communicate and work on it and maybe he can pay it back eventually.

    gottalovemal

    Answer by gottalovemal at 12:02 PM on Jul. 11, 2009

  • ALSO I'm a naturally suspicious person because my SO/father to my baby has given me WAY TOO MANY reasons to not trust him, make him break down exactly how he spend that money. Let him know how VERY serious this is. I don't know if he is normally this irresponsible but from the way it angers you I don't think he has done anything like this before. DON'T let it happen again. If it happens again he will establish a pattern and this is a bad economy to have your credit tank because of a spouse and what not. But kudos on the fact that he came to you the next morning and admitted his mistake, I think that says something about his character. I really hope you work this out and don't be too upset because there isn't anything you can do at this point to get that money back and because anger won't do the situation any good.
    gottalovemal

    Answer by gottalovemal at 12:06 PM on Jul. 11, 2009

  • When he is gone, he can have a prepaid visa card. I wouldn't send him with account information or anything. Make him HAVE to budget the money that he has. Then if he runs out, you can determine with him how much more he is going to need, and you can restock the card for him.
    2-1CavWife

    Answer by 2-1CavWife at 12:46 PM on Jul. 11, 2009

  • You really can not control how a grown man spends money. You should open a separate account for yourself. This would keep this from happening in the future. My question would be how did he spend $600 on drinks? Was he buying for the entire room? I would wonder what all he bought.
    momtoeight

    Answer by momtoeight at 1:15 PM on Jul. 11, 2009

  • its OUR money not just YOURS AND HIS and he needs to consult you how its spent me and hubby discuss any purchases over 350.00 its a 50/50 partnership
    preggoinmn

    Answer by preggoinmn at 1:28 PM on Jul. 11, 2009

  • Yeah I agree, you should probably be more concerned about what he spent $600 on, not just that he drank so much.
    jmpeskie

    Answer by jmpeskie at 1:34 PM on Jul. 11, 2009

  • I never tell anyone when I get that kind of money unless they ask. I would have mailed it to the bank and had it deposited unless I could get there myself. Take responsibility for money since he obviously won't.
    admckenzie

    Answer by admckenzie at 1:47 PM on Jul. 11, 2009

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