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How would you feel if you had a man in your life with 2 kids one is his one not?

But He has been around the son since he's been 3yrs old now we have a 5yr old girl and he show's NO attention to the boy except to let him no how bad he messes up all the time!

 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 4:57 PM on Jul. 11, 2009 in Relationships

This question is closed.
Answers (7)
  • I would stop that right away. Especially if the son was mine. i was raised in a house like that. My Step Dad ignored me and was mean to me all the time but was like a saint to my sister(his daughter).... I would be very blunt in telling him that has to stop or I couldnt be with him anymore because my children are more important than a man
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 5:00 PM on Jul. 11, 2009

  • I personally couldn't be with a man that would do that to one of my children. I would rather be single then to have that person causing mental/emotional harm to my child. Because he is causing harm with that behavior. I'm sure your son feels that for some reason he is not good enough. My children would come first over a man. Just how I feel about it.
    TessLouise

    Answer by TessLouise at 5:02 PM on Jul. 11, 2009

  • So your husband has been stepdad to your son since the son was three? And 5 years ago you had a daughter together? And now he treats your son as if he doesn't exist except to discipline him? Is that about right? Sorry, I am just making sure I understand the question. In that case, I would definitely talk to him and explain that he can either treat the children equally or he wouldn't be involved with my son anymore. I mean, your children should come first. I am a stepmother and a biological mother. My stepson has always been in my husband's custody and he was about 1 when my husband and I started dating. Now, my husband and I have a child together. I honestly don't think it is that hard to be equal with the children. But, my stepson is a lot more like an adopted son. We have been together so long and there was a long time where his mother wasn't around, so our situation is a little different.
    Mom1Stepmom1

    Answer by Mom1Stepmom1 at 5:09 PM on Jul. 11, 2009

  • I would not be with a man who could not treat my children as equals. I would let him know that his attitude toward the children had better change and he treat both children the same. If not it is time to dump him and move on.

    It is NOT right to have one child be the 'favorite' and the other treated like crap. It is harmful to BOTH children. Your girl could pick up on it and start treating the boy the same way... cause if dad does it, it must be ok.
    MizLee

    Answer by MizLee at 5:12 PM on Jul. 11, 2009

  • what a jerk. I'd get rid of him. Children are forever but jerks come and go. He's harming the boy's spirit. He's not worth having if he harms a child and makes the child feel badly.
    admckenzie

    Answer by admckenzie at 6:03 PM on Jul. 11, 2009

  • I'd try counseling. Is he afraid of trying to take his father's place too much and just doesn't want to have to hear the phrase "your not my dad!" ? What's his own relationship like with his father? Is it the same way? Its sometimes much harder on any "dad' when there are two different genders involved. My DD gets away with a lot of things that DS doesn't because DS is older. So my Dh expects more from him than our daughter. On the other hand, I let DS get away with certain things and expect more from our DD regardless of age. Sometimes its a gender thing.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 6:53 PM on Jul. 11, 2009

  • you know this is kinda crazy...my husband was like this but to HIS son...he adored my kids but when lil man would come around B would yell at him and treat him like shit...his own blood...i put a stop to it QUICKLY....

    krazi_beautyful

    Answer by krazi_beautyful at 10:44 PM on Jul. 11, 2009