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I really hate to do this to him but I fell I have no other choice. Was I right?

Im 5 1/2 months pregnant and my sons father left me. He said he wanted nothing to do with him or me and told me to loose his number. So I havnt talked to him in about a week and I called him just now and told him that I wanted him to sign his rights over to me for our son so that it would be less responsability on his part because thats what he wanted from the begining. He has another son he fails to pay child support for and he still gets to see him. IDK how the other mom does this but I cant. I do not want to do this but it is for the best. He only wants to be a dad when its his convienience. Plus he chose drugs over his first son and this one as well as me. Was I wrong inwanting to take his rights away or responsible?

 
Alysia_Moore

Asked by Alysia_Moore at 5:26 PM on Jul. 11, 2009 in General Parenting

Level 12 (688 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (11)
  • I am in the same boat and i feel its a great thing you are doing because you are "DOING WHATS BEST FOR YOUR CHILD" how is it a good thing for your child to have a father who waltzes in and out of their life when he feels like it? I have told my ex that its fine for him to know the child but he will NOT be daddy. He doesn't seem to care and to me that's the best thing i can do. I am allowing his parents to see the baby and the rest of his family but if he isn't going to be there for her then why should he get to come back when he feels like it and make decisions.
    Alie1313

    Answer by Alie1313 at 6:35 PM on Jul. 11, 2009

  • nope . Good plan. keep the jerk away from your kid
    EmKirk

    Answer by EmKirk at 5:28 PM on Jul. 11, 2009

  • well what did he say when u asked him? if he agrees then it's obviously meant to be.
    hibbingmom

    Answer by hibbingmom at 5:28 PM on Jul. 11, 2009

  • nope he hung up the phone cuz I told him I am getting in touch with the state of texas and a lawyer this week and he will need to come to her office and sign his right over to me. unless he wants to fight for him but I know he dosnt and he will loose because I want full custody and nothing else. I kept calling him and he kept picking up and hanging up.
    Alysia_Moore

    Answer by Alysia_Moore at 5:33 PM on Jul. 11, 2009

  • He obviously isn't mature enough to handle this and I know from seeing this happen to my stepson, having a parent float in and out of a child's life is very detrimental. I would continue to push him to sign away his rights. If he made those choices with his older son, and he made those choices while you were pregnant, I doubt he will change soon. Good luck.
    Mom1Stepmom1

    Answer by Mom1Stepmom1 at 5:42 PM on Jul. 11, 2009

  • No I don't think you were right. When you become a parent you need to start thinking about what is BEST FOR YOUR CHILD. It may be easier on you if you never have to have anything to do with him again, but is that what's best for your son? What are you going to tell your son when he wants to know about his father? Is what ever you're going to say what you want your son to identify himself with? Why not let your son get older and make his own decision? Chances are, if he's a dirt bag your son will see it and make his own choice to veto him from his life.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 5:59 PM on Jul. 11, 2009

  • No. You can still allow contact in the future, but this will prevent him from having any decision making authority.

    Though, I'm not sure the courts will allow it without a concurrent step-parent adoption.
    happytexasCM

    Answer by happytexasCM at 6:12 PM on Jul. 11, 2009

  • "Why not let your son get older and make his own decision? Chances are, if he's a dirt bag your son will see it and make his own choice to veto him from his life."

    Because "dad" can do a lot of damage before the baby is old enough to legally say "get lost."
    happytexasCM

    Answer by happytexasCM at 6:14 PM on Jul. 11, 2009

  • Well I wouldn't have gotten involved with him if he did it to the first woman, but now that youre where you are, I'd seek full custody. If he wants back in later, it's on your terms for your child's sake. In the meantime, he can't just pop out of the blue, decide to rile stuff up and have a few visits 'go at it' again, then disappear back off into the mist. This is your child's life, not a game for dad to play. If something ever happens to you, if you have full custody, you can designate who to take care of the child and not have him in the mix. (reference : think of the mom of the first two kids MJ had. If she gave full rights over, she probably wont get them and they can go where he wanted them to be.) The thought of someone on drugs raising my kids if I died tomarrow would make me sick. I'd do what ever legal paperwork to make sure a designated person is in place after you.
    CammyLStevens

    Answer by CammyLStevens at 6:30 PM on Jul. 11, 2009

  • I wish I had done this with my ds's father, at the time I thought well he is his father, he needs to know him, well his dad was in and out of his life, when he did have him for visitation, he didn't take care of him, and had him in places he shouldn't have....he would con my son out of any money he had. Now my son is 19 and his stupid father is still conning him, is always calling him and asking him for money.....I really feel now that I should have kept him away from this man......too late now.....
    robinann5

    Answer by robinann5 at 6:49 PM on Jul. 11, 2009

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