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my friend thinks her child is autistic..

but im confused by it i thought that autism caused the child to lose skills and they dont show she was joking around about havin an austistic day...maybe i was mis informed but thought everyday is hard for them and grant yeah im sure they have there bad days too but how can you classify a normal 2 yr old tantrum with autism? fill me in please i want to understand


Asked by Anonymous at 5:30 PM on Jul. 11, 2009 in General Parenting

This question is closed.
Answers (10)
  • Here, is a checklist that might help:
    1. Do not make Eye to Eye contact

    2.Do not point to objects of interest

    3. Do not speak as well as other children their age

    4. Do not play imaginatively

    5 Do not react to smiling

    6. Do not play with toys in a normal manner.

    7.Can become unusually attached to objects

    8. Do not interact with other children

    9 .Would rather play alone

    10 Do not express themselves

    11 Are prone to tantrums.

    Now none of these are definitive, and certainly this is a limited checklist. The big clues are lack of language, either it doesn't develop or it starts and then disappears. Over or underreaction to stimulation, such as touch or pain. When it says tantrums, these are not the normal 2 year old tantrums, these are "melt downs" that the child cannot calm down from and they are often cause for seemingly no reason.

    Answer by teamquinn at 8:52 PM on Jul. 11, 2009

  • Autism is a two autistic people are alike, some children are more severe than others. Autism is also about MUCH more than tantrums. My son is severely autistic and he doesn't even throw that many tantrums. He doesn't speak either though. Go to and learn about autism, maybe you should send your friend there too.

    Oh and also, some children lose skills at a certain age and begin to regress but other children (like my son) never had them to begin with. So that's not always the same either.

    Answer by aurorabunny at 5:32 PM on Jul. 11, 2009

  • I agree with aurorabunny. Both of my children have autism (mild), yet they are polar opposites of one another in terms of personality, temperament, likes/dislikes, etc.

    The best way I can describe a two year old tantrum to the tantrum of a child with autism (based on MY situation) is a "terrible two year old tantrum" involves pouting, stomping feet, yelling, but usually lasts only a few minutes. An autistic child's tantrums/meltdowns can go on for HOURS!!!

    My older son, used to throw fits over the most minor things, like if his favorite color shirt was in the wash, and he couldn't wear it or if I made a meal he didn;t like. Instead of "dealing" with it or being able to "reason" with him it would become an all out fit, similar to an epileptic seizure (but he does not have epilepsy).

    At age 7 he is virtually free of meltdowns and can be reasoned with--without meds! And my 5 year old has always been re-directable!

    Answer by LoriKeet at 5:46 PM on Jul. 11, 2009

  • do your kids show emotion and willing interact with other kids? sorry to ask so many questions but i have a hard time believing that my friend's child might be austisic... i watched him serveral times even recently and no problems with eating with the rest at the table and he made eye contact and willing played with the other kids and he seemed "normal" to me i actually have more problems with my 5 yr as far as gettin him to engage. she hasnt seen the dr at childrens yet and already saying he is just worried that she is trying to label him something he isnt then have problems later on as a result..... and thanks for your input

    Answer by Anonymous at 6:15 PM on Jul. 11, 2009

  • If your friend is that worried, she needs to stop making a joke of it and get her child evaluated. I think it is terrible that she is making a joke out of a serious issue that affects many families and children. From what you said, I doubt her child is autistic.

    Answer by tyfry7496 at 6:30 PM on Jul. 11, 2009

  • There is so much more to it than a loss of skills. My sons haven't lost any skills. There are some which they just never had.

    They can MAKE eye contact...but they don't maintain it. (and one has staring spells)
    They have sensory issue where a normal touch feels painful to them, for one of them the feel of some things freaks him out and too much auditory stimulation causes them to curl in the fetal position (one of them will rock)

    There is a huge difference between tantrums and meltdowns. Neurotypical toddlers have tantrums (my youngest for an example). My oldest two never threw a tantrum in their lives. Their reactions that others see as tantrums are their meltdowns due to too much stimulation, the inability to express themselves correctly (even though they both are at LEAST two years ahead of their peers cognitively) or just their need to let out some pent up feeling/energy.

    Answer by TiccledBlue at 6:44 PM on Jul. 11, 2009

  • The area that plagues my children the MOST is social interactions--which is why we are doing RDI Therapy (Relationship Development Intervention--Dr. Steven Gutstein's program).

    They BOTH make eye-contact, LOVE to snuggle and be tickled, are naturally athletic (play baseball, soccer, swim independently (no flotation devices), older one is a boy scout and they ride horses.

    Honestly, you wouldn't know they even have autism until you tried to talk to them or asked them a question.

    My boys spend 80% of their day in regular education classrooms (no aides), and get pulled out to work on new concepts and reading comp. They read, write, spell, and are at or above grade level. Intelligence is not the issue, it's social interactions that have purpose and meaning that are their biggest obstacles.

    OP--for your friend to joke about her son having autism is equivalent to someone saying "you're acting like a retard!" DISGUSTING!!!

    Answer by LoriKeet at 7:25 PM on Jul. 11, 2009

  • I don't know about that...I have an autistic kid and I joke about it.

    "Autism is going full bore today" or something like that.

    Now...if her kid is NOT autistic and she's joking around about it..that's just WRONG.

    Answer by Anonymous at 7:35 PM on Jul. 11, 2009

  • My son is diagnosed with autism since he was 3 and people don't know unless I tell them. He appears as normal as any teenager (which isn't really saying I can't imagine joking about my child having autism, but that is just me...I don't judge anyone on here who has they do. I guess it's great that things are at a point where they can see the humor.

    Answer by ohmommamia at 7:40 PM on Jul. 11, 2009

  • I don't know about that...I have an autistic kid and I joke about it.


    Answer by LoriKeet at 8:08 PM on Jul. 11, 2009