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Why does my baby insist on making me feel like a bad mother?

He is almost 7 months now. Every time I put him down, even if it is just for a second, he screams and screams like he is distressed. The cry is a horrible cry like if he was in pain. It is so difficult for me. Even when I go in the bathroom and he sits in his excersaucer there with me, he just screams his head off until I pick him up. My husband does help out, but the majority of the day I am home alone with our baby and toddler. It has gotten increasingly difficult. I can't even keep up with regular tasks like dishes and laundry. Putting on make up is now a huge deal for me because I have to get DH to take care of the baby for me. So if I do get the luxery of putting on makeup it has to be in the evening after DH gets home and at that time what is the point. He only takes one short nap a day and that is my only time to wash my face, brush my teeth, clean, pay attention to our older son, etc. I am being run ragged.

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 6:35 PM on Jul. 11, 2009 in Babies (0-12 months)

Answers (15)
  • Sounds like my little girl when she was that age. Its a stage and he will eventually grow out of it. Soon he won't even want you to hold him, he will have so much other stuff to do. Could he be teething? That makes them grumpy and clingy and so does seperation anxiety which is about at the age he is too. I know its hard, but try to be patient with him he cant tell you what he needs.
    stickyfingers

    Answer by stickyfingers at 6:44 PM on Jul. 11, 2009

  • my son is 8 months old and he is teething and wants to he held all the time to, if I have to do something and I know he is fed changed I just let him cry until I'm done doing what I have to do and then I will and go pick him up for a while do some more work and put him down again, crying won't hurt them and sometimes I ask my almost 4 year old to keep him busy with toys. The only problem I have with him crying is it drives me freaken crazy but I try my hardest not to let it get to me
    looovemybabies

    Answer by looovemybabies at 6:52 PM on Jul. 11, 2009

  • If you know baby is OK, then let him cry. He WILL get over it, and no baby ever died from crying. The problem here (IMO) is that you consistently give in and hold him. You need to just let it go or else you will never get anything done.
    CarolynBarnett

    Answer by CarolynBarnett at 6:57 PM on Jul. 11, 2009

  • Whatever you do, do NOT listen to CarolynBarnett!
    He is a BABY, he wants to be held. There is nothing wrong with that. You are not doing anything wrong or causing the problem.
    Keeping doing what you are doing mom. He will outgrow it and you will long for the days when he just wanted to be in your arms.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 7:06 PM on Jul. 11, 2009

  • I agree with anonymous 4:06. When mine were like that I just put them in a sling. Really who cares about the housework and all the other stuff? He is only going to be a baby for a little while.
    stickyfingers

    Answer by stickyfingers at 7:10 PM on Jul. 11, 2009

  • Ok, well APPARENTLY I am a terrible person. But I am OK with that.

    I am not going to try to argue my point because its not worth my time, but to you (the OP) i just want you to know I asked a very similar question when my daughter was 7 months old, and I am giving you the link to that question so you can get a wider variety of answers.

    http://www.cafemom.com/answers/92587/She_wont_let_me_shower
    CarolynBarnett

    Answer by CarolynBarnett at 7:13 PM on Jul. 11, 2009

  • Make up? What the hell is that? I haven't worn it in 6 years.

    As for letting him cry...for short periods of time when you know he is okay he'll be fine. Good gravy...you keep giving in and picking him up and he KNOWS he has you around his little finger. He knows how to work you already! And as he gets older, when you try to leave him alone, he's going to cry HARDER and LONGER.

    Forget about the stupid make up. If your husband is going to watch the baby for a few, put that time to good use!! Spend it with your TODDLER so he doesn't feel left out.

    Put the baby in an exersaucer where he can see you doing the dishes or laundry. Talk to him constantly. They have to learn object permanence, they're not born with it. Tell him "I'll be right back!" And go around the corner, then immediately pop back in. "See! I'm back"
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 7:55 PM on Jul. 11, 2009

  • Welcome to motherhood...no makeup, no shower, no time for yourself.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:21 PM on Jul. 11, 2009

  • I promise you that in a matter of months, you are not going to be able to hold him at all, LOL! Ours did that when he didn't feel good or was teething, otherwise he was content to be roaming around. If he is teething or in pain, ask your doctor about giving him Tylenol or Motrin. Right now, you are stressed with 2 babies and you are feeling normal. Our 2 y/o has gone thru many phases of "hold me, hold me not, hold me, hold me not, etc." This will NOT last forever! You will not have to carry him in a sling to kindergarten, LOL! But right now, he is doing what 7 month old babies do. They cry when they have a need. When you meet it, he learns to trust you. I know it can be frustrating, but this too shall pass!
    doodlebopfan

    Answer by doodlebopfan at 8:32 PM on Jul. 11, 2009

  • I also don't like to listen to my babies cry. It makes my heart hurt, even knowing that they are fine. But, I agree... a few minutes while you take a shower, go to the bathroom, throw a load of laundry in, etc. will not hurt your baby and will give you a few minutes here and there to get things done.
    Amber115

    Answer by Amber115 at 8:48 PM on Jul. 11, 2009

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