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Am I Selfish For Hoping I'm Not Pregnant Again?

I am re-asking this question because I wanted to edit my post slightly. In my last question, I failed to mention that I hope I am not pregnant because I found a notebook that my fiance has been writing in recently with passages saying that he wishes he could change the past so that he would be with his first love now. I found this the day after we were intimate with each other, the day I fear I may possibly have gotten pregnant, and I couldn't be more upset. Am I selfish for hoping I am not having another baby with him? When I asked him about the journal, he said all of the entries were for a "story" he was writing. How would you ladies feel about this, if the same thing happened to you?...and if I am pregnant, what should I do? He and I are already stressed enough with each other raising our first and I fear this would make the tension increase even more.

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Asked by starburst22 at 7:01 PM on Jul. 11, 2009 in Pregnancy

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Answers (7)
  • no, it's not selfish, honestly i don't know what i'd do about your SO, but if i was in that situation and i was pregnant, of course i'd keep it.

    Answer by Anonymous at 7:03 PM on Jul. 11, 2009

  • What does SO stand for? Sorry if that's a stupid question.

    Answer by starburst22 at 7:04 PM on Jul. 11, 2009

  • Significant other.

    Answer by outstandingLove at 7:06 PM on Jul. 11, 2009

  • Oh...haha, thanks for answering that:).

    Answer by starburst22 at 7:17 PM on Jul. 11, 2009

  • Bless your heart...I always want what they can't have...Keep the baby or give it up for adoption. Whichever feels right to you. Don't abort though, cause whether your SO is a scumbag or not, that IS a precious human life there. Millions of women, including myself, would give anything for a chance to raise a baby. Don't rush into anything. Give yourself time to absorb the shock of your boyfriend's betrayal and move on from there. Good Luck and God Bless

    Answer by lighthousemom3 at 8:00 PM on Jul. 11, 2009

  • It's not betrayal, I too would give ANYTHING for even ONE MORE DAY with my high school sweet heart, he was my first love, my best friend, and we shared everything together.
    Its a special bond that I will never loose with him, we were innocent when we met, and took that from eachother.
    tell me you NEVER think about your first love.
    Its especially diffrent when you both took eachothers total innocence, we met when we were 13, made love for the first time at almost 16, did EVERYTHING together until I was almost 18.
    Its special, and understandable.
    as for the pregnancy, sometimes its just too much to deal with, a new baby, AND the stresses of an older child, and what you feel from what you read.
    with that said, it was in his personal privite journal, things written in there are from the heart, and everyone deserves there secrets and privicy.
    a womans heart is FULL of secrets, why can't men have that.

    Answer by judith_visco at 8:16 PM on Jul. 11, 2009

  • Try to reframe what you read. I wish I could go back and be with my first love. That doesn't mean I can't love the one I'm with. What if you were married to someone who had a wife that died. Would you wish that he had hated her. You would accept that sometimes he would think about her and want to go back. Your husband can't go back and change things.

    Your husband chooses you.

    Rather than pull away from him pull towards him. You are married, have a child, and must be sexually active. Work on your marriage. If you give your all you may be able to get him to give it his all. If you both are really tring to make it work and it doesn't then it is time to talk about what to do.

    Answer by Gailll at 8:34 PM on Jul. 11, 2009

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